Push and pull
by moxie sauce
Summary: AU- Azulaang. Genderbend Aang and Azula. Full description inside.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- Okay, so this was a plot bunny that just kept at it. At first it was a simple "oh, Azula and Aang might actually be a good match. Balance each other out and stuff". Then it turned into a full scale Azula personality analysis. I was wondering what would have happened if Ozai honestly didn't care about her. What if (bear with me) Ozai took one look at his second child and went "I don't have time for this! I'm too busy trying to steal the throne and hating Zuko for another kid!" then he goes to hate Zuko. Ursa would obviously be worried about Zuko first (he looks more like her, he acts more like her, Ozai hates him and she needs to protect him...) and just would have no time for Azula. But something didn't fit with that and I realised that if this idea was going to work then Azula would have to be Azul (genderbend!) and to be honest I just liked the idea of Azula as a boy. As a boy Ozai would be more willing to disregard him (oh, another boy. The first was useless...). Because Azula (canon wise) is actually a really smart girl. She's a great tactician just with an overly large sadistic streak that I assumed Ozai forced upon her. I was thinking about it and if Azula hadn't had Ozai breathing down her neck she might not have inherited his cruelty and ideals. She might just be a really really smart prodigy. Then I though about it if Azula was a boy. Azul would be disregarded by their mother because he looked more like their father. Their Uncle likes Zuko better. Their father's too busy hating Zuko to notice him. So where does that leave Azul? He's got no allegiances to anyone and I assume that his first call of duty would be to take the throne. If he's as smart as Azula is and can see the war with a clear mind he'll realise that war is bad for the economy, bad for the population and lowers public opinions of the monarchs. Azula is extremely political but too fixed on her father's ideals so I decided to tweak it slightly. Take away the father's ideals and you've just got a charming, political, driven boy who knows how to get to the throne.  
Then I started to worry about where the gaang fitted in here. I didn't want to do a full genderbend, I just wanted Azul. But then I thought back to my whole Azula and Aang ship and well... Things went from there.  
There are things in this like Azula's breakdown that will be incorporated into the story. I always assumed that Azula went crazy because of the stress, the betrayal and the paranoia that accompanied the final few episodes. She cracked under the pressure. But I always thought about it and though that maybe some of the insanity was hereditary. Ozai does seem pretty insane. In this story I've made Azul too well balanced to be insane; he doesn't crack under pressure. But I can imagine that the inherited genetic features of Insanity do get to him... Also he's got a few problems of his own. Azula was all about "My mother thought I was a monster" and Azul is more about "No one really talked to me anyway".  
I think that might have been the longest AN in the history of ANs but I just needed to explain everything.**

**So in short:  
1. This is a genderbend but only for Aang and Azula. Aang is called Aang and Azula is called Azul.  
2. Aang is captured on the Day of Black Sun so the rest of the series doesn't happy. It only happens up to there.  
3. Zuko joins the gaang in Ba Sing Se after talking to Katara in the catacombs.  
4. It is paired Azul/Aang. Just warning ya.**

**Anyhow... That was really really long so on with the show!**

* * *

"It's been too long," She think dully to herself, "It's been much too long."

The chains that wrench her arms back are making thinking hard. Any thought would have to compete with the pain. She's quite sure her left shoulder is dislocated and shudders at the thought of having to put it back together. Though, judging how the screaming pain has now changed into a dull ache, she's pretty sure she's been here for far too long for anyone to actually bother to help her. If they wanted to they would have done by now.

Her newfound cynicism shocks her somewhat but to be honest she's been strung up for over a month; even the most painful of optimists would loose their spark.

Shaking her head hard she forces herself to think about other things. Anything else is better than the huge gaping question of the future.

The clang of the bars on the door sliding open rudely jerks her out of any stray thoughts. Maybe it's better that way; she shouldn't go chasing the rabbit again.

The click of boots against the floor tell her it isn't a guard again. She shivers at the thought of the guards; with their lust-filled eyes and lascivious leers. She knows they have orders not to hurt her but the moments those orders are dropped... The image of a young canary-rabbit being ripped apart by a group of hungry badger-wolves brings up bile and she swallows thickly and jerks her head away as she feels a hand move towards her chin.

"No, no no no no no." The fear is rising and she can't help the words that bubble out of her mouth.

The hand hesitates but doesn't stop, it grips her chin gently and brings her face up. Her eyes are still screwed tightly shut. She knows she should try and hide her fear. Try and act tough and strong and like the Avatar but master of the four elements or not she's still a young thirteen year old girl who's much too out of her depth in this new world.

"Open your eyes." It isn't a request as much as a command. She knows better than to resist a command by now. The sting of remembered slaps from the guards almost bring tears to her eyes but she stops them and is almost proud of how strong her gaze is as she finally wrenches open her eyes.

After they finally adjust to the sudden light (her cell is always dark, always pitch black enough for her eyes never to make anything out and the fire burning in the torches that line the walls is surprising and unusual) she finds herself staring into the intense eyes of the Crown Prince Azul of the Fire Nation. She swallows heavily, what is he doing here? Does this mean they've defeated the resistance? Is the war over? Have they found Katara? Or Sokka? Or Toph? Zuko? Mai or Ty lee? (She'd heard whispers from the guards speaking outside the cell. Whispers of betrayal from the Prince's two right hand women.)

"Don't speak." he barks out brusquely as he lifts a bowl of water to her lips. It's been a while since she drank and she swallows greedily. She knows stronger people would refuse and spit the water back in his face but if there's one lesson that she's learnt it's humility. She won't beg but she won't refuse help. It's not like she had much pride left dangling in the chains with her clothes in tatters. She's too weak to use her bending; even if she still had it after all the bending suppressants they've put in her food.

She coughs slightly when he takes the bowl away. The water had soothed her raw throat somewhat but it still hurts from dryness.

His eyes roam over her, though it doesn't make her feel like she normally does when the guards stare. When they do she feels dirty. But the way he looks at her is clinical and critical. She doesn't really feel anything. He looks at her like a doctor might look at their patient.

Finally he steps closer and she feels panic welling again but all he does is use his bending to slice through the chains that hold her up. She notes that his blue flames have always been unusual. She's never seen anything like them before; even while running around the world a hundred years ago. She wonders what they mean. If they mean anything.

She collapses to the floor, too tired to even try and pretend she has the strength to pull herself up, and blood rushes back into her arms while she breathes out a sigh of relief. She gingerly moves the joints and when she feels the dislocated shoulder protest she lets out a slight squeak of pain.

He's beside her in an instant. Hand gently probing the limb.

"Is it dislocated?" He asks softly. He's speaking quietly. Like one might do to an injured animal. All "hands up" and "I mean no harm".

She nods and does her best to stop the tears that fill her eyes slightly at the pain. It's an involuntary gesture that's created by her body. One that people associate with weakness. For some strange unfathomable reason she doesn't want the Prince to think she's weak.

"I'm going to put it back in." He continues in that same soft tone. "It might hurt but I'll try to make sure it doesn't hurt too much."

She nods and squeezes her eyes shut as he grabs the limb and shoves it back into it's socket. The gruesome clicking sound tells her it's gone back in but it hurts too much for her to care. A tear escapes her eye unbidden and she can't help the sob of pain. At least the dull throbbing is fading now.

"You did well." He whispers to her, patting her head slightly.

She looks up at him and speaks for the first time in weeks, (the air nation wasn't violent and she's never been the type to scream and threaten her guards), her voice is raspy from disuse and it feels odd; like her tongue is too big for her mouth but she speaks anyway.

"Thank you."

His bright golden eyes (so much like Zuko's) look down at her. She's been eye to eye with him in so many fights before but he's never been this still or this calm. No, that's a lie. He's always calm. He's just never been this... un-attacky? Is that a word?

"Your welcome." He says neutrally.

He sits opposite her.

"I have changed the guards outside our cell to females only and they are all indisputably loyal."

She hears the words that he doesn't say. The guards are loyal _to me._She suddenly realises what he said. _Female. _She feels almost light headed with relief.

She nods in response.

Then he leans forward. Lips right by her ear.

"Listen closely," His words are nothing more than a whisper of breathe but she hears them anyway, "In a week Ozai will be dead by my hand." Her eyes widen slightly at the fierce promise in his voice. "I will come down here to release you, I would like you to be there at my coronation." He hesitates slightly at this point but carries on anyway, "As my wife."

Her eyebrows shoot up at this. Did he just ask her to _marry_ him?

"I need some credibility to show the rest of the world that I honestly mean it when I end the war." She nods so slightly it's barely a movement but he notices anyway.

"If we are married." He continues. "Then we can end the war for good with you helping." He backs away and looks at her, _really_looks at her, "As the Avatar."

She suddenly understands; he wants to end the war. He needs her to show the rest of the world that the Fire Nation is not a threat any more. He needs her credibility as the peace maker between the elements. She may only be thirteen but she's not stupid. After their attack during the eclipse went horribly wrong the only way she could save the rest of the resistance was to fight the Fire Lord herself and buy them enough time to escape. She knew what they didn't, which was that they could do more damage together then she would have ever been able to do on her own. She also knows the darker truth: the won't kill her because they don't want to waste their time hunting down the next Avatar amongst the scattered pieces of the water tribes. They'll keep her alive and she hopes that that'll be enough until her friends turn up.

She regards him. He isn't ugly. Far from it. His bearing is regal and proud. His eyes filled with fire and something... darker. His lips curl with arrogance, or maybe not. Maybe it's not arrogance. But she's too tired and her arms still throbs too much to care.

She wonders how he plans to kill the Fire Lord.

She coughs, "Okay." She smiles at him. He's only fifteen but looks a world older. She reaches forward to clasp his hand while he smiles at her. There's something genuine in his smile that makes her smile back. "Okay. I will."

He stands swiftly at that, pulling her up with him. "I'll be back soon." he promises.

And with that he walks out.

Aang stands there, hands limp at her sides; remains of the chains dangling and swaying and clinking ever so slightly as she watches the back of the man who had been chasing her along with his two lackeys for months before the game ended for her retreat behind to heavy cell door. Or maybe it hasn't. Maybe she just got a new playing piece.

* * *

Azul has been planning this for years. For years ever since his brother Zuko was banished. He saw the look in their father's eyes when he burnt him and knows that he isn't any safer. His father doesn't like him any better anyways. Only tolerates him because he's quieter then Zuko. Leas trouble. Less emotions.

Or so he thinks.

He conspires with the concubines first. Talks to them and makes them see his way.

If there was one thing Azul was good at then it was talking and leading. He was born for this.

The concubines hate Ozai anyway. Most of them are spoils of war. Ripped from their families to warm the bed of the man who has no love for anything. He's a harsh lover. He likes them to struggle and likes to watch them cry. Lots of them already had lover, already had husbands and children who Ozai slaughtered like cattle when he realised he wanted them. They are all hungry for revenge. For retribution and if the young Prince with the calculating eyes and smooth tongue can give it to them then who are they to talk?

It starts with tea. Ozai is suspicious by nature, so when his favourite, a soft woman named Asi, offers him a cup of strange smelling tea he almost beats her for it until she drinks some and allows him to feed some to one of her bastard children. When he realises that it isn't a trick and she's indeed simply trying to give him some tea he shrugs and downs a cup without a word. What he doesn't know and what even Asi doesn't know (he didn't tell her for fear that Ozai would torture it out of her and implicate all of them) is that the tea Azul gave her to give to Ozai contains bending suppressants. Suppressants that only the strange smelling herb he put in to disguise the familiar smell would cover. There isn't enough in it to stop his father from bending. There's barely enough to weaken his father. But this is only stage one that is carried out years in advance.

As the days and weeks and months and years pass Ozai grows used to the concubines giving him this kind of tea after their couplings. He doesn't know why but can't be bothered to find out. All the concubines know is that the tea will stop him so they keep giving it to him.

The first time someone other than Asi tries to serve it to him he grabs her wrist until it bruises.

"Why are you giving this to me?" He snarls out.

Thankfully Azul is no idiot and the second person he gives the tea to is an unflappable woman named Tessi, she is unbreakable and he knows she won't crumble under pressure.

He was right. Tessi simply sighs, and says "Asi says you enjoy it and recommended we serve some to you too."

Ozai hums to himself, the tea doesn't have any adverse affects and he has become quite fond of the strange flavour. In the end it's his arrogance that's his ultimate downfall. How could concubines, _women_ be involved in a plot?

He scoffs to himself and drinks the tea.

Soon all the concubines serve it to him and he drinks. Every so often he'll force one of them, or their children, to drink but there don't seem to be any problems to he continues drinking and doesn't think anything of it.

Azul knew about their plan. He knew that they meant to invade during the comet. It would have been a clever plan; if fire benders were completely useless without their element. And that, as Azul had proved, wasn't true. Azul knew their plan would fail. He knew that it would end with either the capture of the whole resistance minus the Avatar or just the Avatar. He knew that it had to just be the Avatar this time.

Firstly it was too near the kickoff of his plan. He father would be dead before two months were out; that he was completely certain of. The Avatar was a wild card and he had too many in his deck right now. It would be better to have her safely locked up in the dungeons while the last pieces of his plot fell into place.

Secondly; the resistance of their own was far less dangerous than the Avatar on her own. For one they wouldn't try to attack the fire nation capital in an Avatar state grief induced rage. They didn't have even a tenth of what she could use. She could level the whole Capital if she was in the right mindset. He needed that out of the way.

An added perk was that having her locked up and out of the way made Fire Lord Ozai more _relaxed._ More... susceptible to different _suggestions_. More forgiving. And that was something Azul had been doing his best to exploit for the past month and a bit. Gradually convincing him to spend more time with the concubines until it was a ritual to go almost every night. Bit by bit showing him how good a son he was. Suggesting that he should write a will... with Azul as the prime benefactor. It made everything so much easier when it was done legally, didn't it?

He was of course, slightly worried for the young Avatar but the odds were stacked heavily to one side and who was he to deny it? His father normally left important prisoners alone. The constant isolation made them softer. Like leaving something to soak in water for far too long... Because of the fact that Sozin's comet was approaching his father was relaxed beyond belief. Everything was going according to plan. The Avatar was captured and he had as much time as he wanted to _play._

Sometimes Azul wishes he didn't know his father so well.

It's a normal Friday and once Ozai roughly jerks out of Asi, wiping the blood on his cock off on the bedsheets, she shakily gets up to make him some tea.

He thinks over the conversation he had with his remaining undisgraced son Azul over dinner.

He had remarked that it may be the time to start breaking the Avatar. He had left her alone in her cell for over a month now and to be honest he was ready to _play. _She didn't have her bending and he's never _tasted _a half-god before. Besides, once he was done with her he could always hand her off to some of his favourite Admirals or War ministers. He knew that bedding the Avatar would be something of significance. A little... yearly bonus would you say?

When he'd mentioned his plans to Azul the prince hadn't even flinched. Instead he simply said that whatever his father wanted was fine.

Ozai smirks slightly as he takes the proffered cup from Asi. His son is so obedient.

He doesn't notice anything different or out of place in the taste of the tea, except that it's a little hotter than usual and he can't make out the flavours as well under the heat.

He downs the cup in one gulp in throws it into the opposite wall where it shatters on contact. He them grabs Asi around the waist and throws her down onto the bed where he proceeds to mar her skin with even more bruises.

Ozai senses the disturbance in his room as he wakes and immediately tries to send out a wave of fire to the assailant; that's the way many an assassin have died however his bending isn't responding. He grows cold and panicked. Fear that he hasn't felt in years licks the edges of his mind as the offending person draws near. He doesn't even have time to scream in betrayal when he sees it's his son before the blue flames burn out his brain.

Azul looks down at the broken body in disgust. He had to move his plans ahead once he heard what his father had intended to do to his bride. He had substituted the usual tea for just bending suppressants and told Asi to serve it hot. Bending suppressants loose most of their flavour when served at boiling and he knew that a fire bender's body temperature is higher than normal so his father would only note the tea to be "hot" not "scalding" like any normal person would. He glares down at the body and in a rare show of emotion spits on the burnt out husk before sweeping out of the room.

Time for change.

* * *

Aang plays with the ends of her hair as she paces her cell. Azul hasn't been back in eighteen meals. Because of his influence she now gets three square meals a day and the guards are always kind and ready to talk or help as she needs. It isn't really prison apart from the cell and the fact that she can't leave to be honest. She misses Azul a little and wonders where he is. She prays furtively that he wasn't caught helping her, or that the Fire Lord has killed him before he could kill him.

When the cells door clangs she turn eagerly and when the familiar click of Azul's boots against the metal floor resound through the room she bounds over to him eagerly and wraps him in a hug. Aang's always been touchy feely but this man is going to be her _husband_. Together they can change the world (not to sound over dramatic).

"I was worried you were hurt." She mumbles into his shoulder. "Or that Ozai had killed you."

Azul laughs, "Ozai is no longer a threat." He pushes her to arms length and smiles, "He's dead."

Aang's eyes widen in disbelief.

"I've already been though my coronation," He admits, "I had to do it as quickly as possible so I could speak to the war ministers.

I've retracted the troops that are out at sea or in the Earth Kingdom. I've had to spend the past few days making announcements to the world, trailing some particularly distasteful generals and admirals and executing those who were too close to my father. Not that anyone knows how he really died."

She starts at this. Surely... how did he kill him?

He lays his head on her shoulder and it strikes her how _tired_ he looks. He's looking for human contact to give him comfort and she can give that to him at least. So she reaches with her hand and begins to stroke his hair. "I've released some particularly powerful prisoners of war and have used them to bargain over peace treaties with the Water tribe and the Earth kingdom but they need assurances and reparations."

His sigh sends his breath fanning over her skin and it raises goosebumps in it's wake.

"We have to get married tomorrow."

He pulls back and looks her in the eye. He's full of apologies but she doesn't want to hear them.

"I understand." Her eyes are full of compassion, full to the brim of kindness, "You ended the war Azul." he likes the way his name sound on her tongue.

But he can't say that, she's only thirteen.

So instead he takes her hand and leads her up to the future.

* * *

The wedding is quick but well attended. Over the years Azul had built up a support network. He has used spies and informants. He knows more about his nation then Ozai probably ever did. When he was younger he charmed his way around parties while Zuko sulked in the corner. As he grew older he began... hinting. After Zuko was banished he began dropping breadcrumbs. Here and there. Never enough to implicate. But enough to be suggestive. And only to those he _knows _will listen. He's been collecting war ministers and advisors and nobles all these years and the day he killed Ozai was the day that any of them realised just how big his "coup" really was. Not that they had enough evidence that it was him who even killed the ex-Fire Lord. Ozai was found dead in his bed, brains burnt out and no poison in his blood. His successor had been named as Azul and even the more suspicious could say nothing as the boy of only fifteen took the throne. He has killed everyone (either by assassination for those who should be handled more delicately or public execution for those who he knows public opinion is not favourable) who looked like they might start a civil war and he has invited the remains of his country to attend his wedding.

The one question that rests on everyone's lips is "who". Who is their Lord marrying? They honestly don't know. Azul never had any serious romantic attractions; he was never seen without a girl on his arm at a party but next to none of those girls were asked to share his bed.

Smart people know it must be someone from another nation in order to start promoting peace.

Smarter people know that no one from another nation would marry into the Fire nation yet.

So when the music starts and everyone rises the last person they expect to walk down the aisle, on her own some people note, is Avatar Aang. She is dressed in traditional yellow and orange Air Nomad silks and looks every inch the powerful bender she is. Her skin glows and her arrows seem slightly luminous. Yet the congregation notices she looks haggard and tired and that's when the smarter people realise where she's been for the past few month and a bit. The Avatar disappeared off the face of the earth a month and a half ago.

Disappeared into the dungeons of the Fire Nation.

Many expect the wedding is forced. Payment for freedom. Yet as the whole nation holds it's breath during the vows eyes can't help but notice the way the Avatar's hand squeezes the Fire Lords or the smile on her face as she says the binding words and the ring is slipped on her finger.

They lean in for a chaste kiss and no one can forget the tender age of the world's saviour at that moment.

And with that the days dissolve into negotiations and makings of peace treaties.

Azul has to admit that the negotiations go smoother and swifter then he had ever dared to hope for with Aang by his side. She sees things from an outsider's perspective. Not from the Fire nation's or the rest of the world's. She's the unwitting politician. Reaching diplomacy without meaning to. She is unbiased and speaks softly during meetings. Yet for the volume of her voice not one of the delegates can help from listening when she opens her mouth.

* * *

"Not bad work, huh?" Aang asks coyly as she watches Azul undress at the foot of the bed. He disappears into the bathroom for some of the more delicate items but then again so does she.

He grins as he re enters from the bathroom, "Both the water tribe and the earth kingdom have signed peace treaties. Now all that's left is the Air nomads." he pokes her shoulder playfully.

"It's going to take more than marrying me to draw up a treaty." She raises an eyebrow at him.

"Not even making every concubine a Lady and giving them each a house for them and their children was good enough?" He rewards loyalty well and the servants involved have been promoted, the guards given more rights, the concubines freed and allowed to return to their own countries if they see fit.

She shakes her head.

"What do you want?" He asks.

At that she sobers. "I need to find my friends."

He nods in understanding, "Tomorrow we'll find them, my brother included. Hopefully Mai and Ty lee managed to find them." The last part is more for him then anyone else.

Aang's eyes widen and she jumps on him. It's an innocent move and he knows Aang doesn't fully know what she's doing so he uses the highest level of self control he has cultivated in court all his life to keep from shuddering when her hips grind into his.

"You sent them to him?"

He nods, "After the day of black sun I realised things were going to get messy; I didn't want them to get hurt if I failed."

She wriggles slightly on top of him and, damnit, he just turned sixteen and his wife sitting on him is a recipe for disaster.

"Aang," He requests through gritted teeth, "Can you please get off me."

She smiles easily at him and he wonders how she doesn't know. "Of course."

His wife is anything but promiscuous.

"Tomorrow," he promises her.

And with that they fall asleep, side by side in the royal bed as they always do.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- okay, so this story is more of a chapters thorugh their lives kind of thing. Each chapter will tell a different story about their life or about a part of their lives. ****Enjoy!**

There's no rule about not seeing the bride before the wedding as far as Azul is concerned and he's sure Aang doesn't mind. Besides, for people who are getting married they barely know each other. Apart from a few brief scuffles in the Earth Kingdom and the takedown of Ba Sing Se where he did a marvellous job of killing her they've never spoken. It was odd how warm she was towards him in her cell. Considering he'd made multiple attempts on her life (and actually succeeded once) it certainly was odd. She was kind and almost eager to see him. He shakes his head slightly. It was probably the human deprivation. It caused her to latch onto the first person she could find. He reasons to himself that must be the truth.

Though it doesn't explain the massive smile on her face as he enters her temporary room. She'll move into the master bedroom with him that night anyway. She bounds up with a bit of air-bending grace and scoops him into a hug.

In a second she's crying completely unexpectedly.

"Thank you." She cries into his shoulder, "Thank you thank you thank you thank you."

He can simply stand there in shock as she pours out her heart. Why is she thanking him? And all of a sudden he can't help but try to find out the truth even if it means shattering the illusion. He feels like he's in a dream and if he says something he'll wake up and be left in a world where Aang realises what he's done and how much she hates him (if she had the capacity to hate that is). He swallows, he's never cared about anyone's opinion that much before and it scares him just a little. He's a neophobic at heart. Aang is everything bright and shiny and new and _scary_. But he's Prince (no- Fire Lord) Azul and he's the master of conquering so he bites back the fear and takes up his sledgehammer with a smile.

"Why don't you hate me for what I've done?"

The question is honest and deserves an honest answer.

"Because you're not a bad person."

"How do you know that?"

"Because. Because."

"Because what?"

"You held back when we were fighting. I could see it."  
"So? I was still fighting you."

"You never hurt me."

"I could have. I killed you."

"But you didn't. You didn't kill me very well anyway."

The playful tone of her voice makes something in his chest _ache. _He's never had human contact like this before. He's never had anyone speak to him like this before.

"Oh."

And Fire Lord (Not prince) Azul is struck dumb.

He looks down at Aang. Shiny happy _new_ Aang and swallows back fear. She's the only think that's ever been his and maybe that's the most frightening part.

* * *

When they return to the bedroom after the wedding Aang is shaking and he can practically _smell_ the fear on her. But he doesn't comment and instead moves over to the bar and pours them both small glasses of sake that he heats using his fire bending.

Aang is still shaking when he hands her one and he watches as she down it in a gulp and immediately begins coughing. It's a painful show of how young she is and when he sets down his glass and moves closer to her she begins to tremble in earnest.

"I- I- I-" Her words are slurred slightly and garbled and she's stuttering a bit in fear. That's when he truly realises how under prepared she is for this. How she really _isn't ready. _

He pulls her into his lap and strokes her hair until she calms enough to relax against him. She's worn out from the fear and when he speaks it's the first thing he's ever been really proud of. These are the first words he's ever actually heard himself say with pride.

"We don't have to." He whispers into her hair. "We don't have to."

He repeats it like a mantra, again and again and again. And although a small perverted part of him does want to. Does want to hold her down and make her beg and scream and see the look in her eyes as she comes apart he knows she's too young. Too young.

So when she finally looks up at him with those big grey trusting eyes and whispers "Thank you" all he can do is feel the pride burn through him like fire-whisky as he rocks her to sleep.

He takes good care of his belongings anyway.

* * *

Affection comes easy to the two of them. There's a kind of natural affinity that's surprising. They mesh well (for lack of better words) and they seem to understand each other.

Trust is earned though.

They sleep in the chair that night with her curled up in him arms and wake up with sore muscles and aches in their bones because of it. However when they do wake it's quite clear it's worth it. Aang no longer looks at him with any semblance of fear (because lets face it; no matter how much she tried to hide it he could always see the slight spark in her eyes when he turned to face her) and is even more generous with her touches than before. The physical affection comes easily as well and they spend the nights curled up in each others arms. She often holds his hand and he rests his head on her shoulder. They're both familiar gestures that they associate subconsciously with the war ending and her being freed from her cell.

He's lighter. Like some burden's been lifted (which in a way it has) and no one dares to ask whether or not the marriage has been consummated. The new Fire Lord makes his own rules and anyone can see by the calm way the argues during meetings (and always wins) to the methodical disappearance of his opposition that the new Fire Lord isn't one to be trifled with.

So they leave him and his new wife alone.

Azul smiles into the darkness as he feels Aang wrap herself around him in her sleep. Her leg is thrown over his torso leaving the other one to lie parallel to his and have the foot brush his ankle. Both of her arms hug his right arm and her head is buried in his right shoulder. He feels his cock twitch of the feel of her just budding breasts pressed against his side. It's slightly sick and wrong but the age difference isn't anywhere near vast and thirteen is of age in some of the water tribes or in some areas of the Earth kingdom. He's always thought she was beautiful. Ever since first seeing her after tracking her down in the earth kingdom. He'd read the reports. Knew what to look out for. But he's been unprepared for the innocence. For the only untainted piece of life he could find. The only thing that hadn't been touched by a hundred years of war. The only surviving relic of a long gone time. Sometimes he wonders what he would've been like if he hadn't been born into war. If he wasn't Fire Nation royalty. If he was just another person. But of course he's always believed in nature. Not nurture. He knows that no matter where and how he could've grown up he would still be the same. Maybe that's what's so _sad. _She's just so warm, so affectionate, so loving, so _Aang. _She beautiful and accepting and the only thing that had ever belonged to him. Though she doesn't fully belong to him yet.

Yet... she's the only thing that's ever come this close to being his.

* * *

As trust begins to grow and bloom they become closer. Closer until they're best friends, husband and wife, almost lovers, brother and sister and everything else rolled up into one. They've only been together for two weeks. But that's two weeks worth of intertwined nights. Two weeks worth of conversation. Two weeks worth of presenting a united front against delegates. Two weeks worth of hand holding and head resting and smiles and whispers and affection. Two weeks worth of childish love. Two weeks worth of teasing.

They're far too close now to ever separate. They're far too close for this to just be a convenient way out of a sticky situation in any respect.

It's _love._

Or belonging. Pure possessive obsession. Or maybe that's just Azul.

* * *

They've got different opinions. It comes from being raised differently. Aang likes to favour mercy and wants comprise while Azul prefers to stamp out rebellions and opposition rather than risk them getting to him or his Queen first.

Above it all Aang is still the pacifist air bender that her people taught her to be. She learnt that every life is sacred and violence can never be the way. She's still the girl that cried when Azul explained how he'd defeated Ozai. She's the only person who knows the truth anyways and the pride of her being the one he trusts is squashed under the weight of the truth. "Why did you kill him?" She had cried, "Why would you kill someone?" Azul had faced it head on; "The only way to kill the serpent is to cut off it's head." As Aang had stared wide-eyed and tearfully at him he had explained, "Ozai may have been the one to give orders but there were people loyal to him who carried out the attacks." Aang had started to understand. She wasn't stupid and her innocence had taken a severe beating. "I needed to show them that I mean business. That I was ready to do whatever it takes to destroy them."

That's when Aang understood something. She understood Azul. They were different. They weren't meant to be the same. She couldn't try and pretend that he wouldn't kill because he _would._ The Azul she knows is made of hundreds of different parts. There's playful Azul who teases her and laughs with her. There's in control Azul who she sees in battle and in court. There's sweet Azul who holds her while she cries and pats her back when the weight of being the Avatar- alone- becomes too much. There's funny Azul that sometimes comes hand in hand with playful Azul; he teases the guards and tickles her and makes jokes and funny faces. There's ruthless Azul, it's the mask she's shown when an angry ex-general tries to attack her in the street. Azul burns his face off in a breath of fire and it's deadly and beautiful and she had watched with a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes. Then there's calm Azul. The man who walks down to the dungeons to "talk to" various prisoners. Will full ignorance is something that Aang can't tolerate so when she follows him one night and sees the blood-_ oh god so much blood_ she simply disappears upstairs to their bedroom and dry retches on the bed until she falls asleep. It's sweet Azul that holds her hair back as she throws up for real in the morning. He pats her back and explains and to some degree she understands but it still takes a while to reconcile her air-bending principles with the man stroking her hair so she cancels meeting for that day and spends it in the barn with Appa (who had been captured on the Day of Black Sun and locked up. Being the last of his kind he could be an asset and Ozai hadn't wanted to kill him immediately. Of course Azul had made it one of his first calls of duty as the new Fire Lord to release him and give him back to Aang. Now he spends him time in the stables where Aang visits to ride him and stroke him and feed him. It's the most relaxed Appa's been in a while too). She cries into his fur and retches a bit more before she mulls over the argument. When she decides she's ready she gives Appa one last pat and goes back to the meetings. She knows her principles but she knows Azul wasn't brought up the same way. She can't brush it off and bury it under the rug but she can file it away until she's ready to face it. She's facing it now and as she stares into his eyes and sees that familiar gold brushed with the darkness she understands. It's just one part of Azul. She can't make him fit her mould. She _won't _make him fit her mould. He doesn't try to box her or make her fit his ideals so she returns to favour. She _understands. _And she's proud of it. This is what marriage is. Understanding and compromise. Suddenly she feel a tiny bit older.

He looks at her and she nods before grabbing his hand between her two smaller ones.

"Killing isn't always the way." She told him. It wasn't an argument or a rebuke. Simply a statement.

He nodded in agreement. "Killing isn't always the way. But.." He hesitated then ploughed on. That was one of the things Aang loved about him. He didn't candy-coat things for her. He didn't try and soften blows with soft words and empty promises. He treated her like she was the Avatar. The saviour of the world and like she deserved to know everything. "Your people Aang," His voice had lowered to a whisper, "Your people are still dead and nothing can bring them back. You have to understand that sometimes the only way is to stop someone or something is to kill them."

Aang had looked up at him with her wide grey eyes; her mouth was pressed in a firm line and the tears had dried up. She had looked up at him with that expression on her face an all she could say was, "Don't make anyone suffer undeservedly."

They're in one of these disagreements right now. The attack happened late last night but between him and Aang the twenty men never even stood a chance.

Twelve were killed and the rest were subdued. Aang looks as though she's going to cry at the sight of the dead bodies but she managed to steel herself. Azul was proud of her; she was learning about how harsh the world really was and he appreciated the way her decisions now made tactical _sense_ as well as incorporating her own brand of air-bender mercy and forgiveness. She was growing into a fair ruler and Azul knew she was the best choice for Fire Lady.

But the next morning still finds them in a disagreement.

"You can't torture them." Aang pleads desperately.

Torture is one of the more unsavoury things Azul is good at. It come naturally at him and part of him is slightly disgusted by how easily he's able to prolong suffering without inducing death. The body doesn't have any secrets from him and he knows the exact combination of mental and physical before his captives will sing their secrets. He knows that it's a good skill for the Fire Lord to have and he can't help but notice the way that nobles give him an appraising look where respect is thinly veiled with shock and how the guards on the way down to the dungeons bow lower than required when he enters the small prison cells. Ozai never did this himself; that much he is sure of. And he knows that getting into plots himself is respected. So he tells his guards to take all the broken bodies after he's done with them and bury them in unmarked mass graves under the cover of night.

He smirks to himself as he gives the order. Those that oppose him obviously have the Palace under watch and when they see the bodies of their friends...

But Aang doesn't fully understand all of this, doesn't understand the respect, the message and the fact that above all it's an art that it's taken him time to perfect.

Azul doesn't say anything for a moment as he pulls on his boots. "I have to." He answers finally.

"I need to know what's going on. The fact that there were twenty of them worries me." It does worry him. Twenty assassins. Twenty is a high number and although he knows both would be fine on their own the fact that his enemies are being so bold worries him. Either they're scared. Or they're angry. Or they've got something big coming up.

He turns sharply to look at her.

"I can't have it happening again."

Aang looks at him, but her gaze isn't pleading anymore. It's understanding. It's strange how much compassion that one small body can hold. But Azul takes what he's given and a little more besides.

"Don't hurt them too badly." She whispers. It's an empty request; they both know that. But if it makes Aang feel better then Azul is willing to comply with a just as empty answer.

He reaches forward, Aang's grown a little and at fourteen she's finally starting to fill out, and grasps her chin like he did in her cell so long ago.

"Not if I don't have to."

He leaves the room.

* * *

Conflicts often end like that, he muses to himself, as he hurries to way to the dungeons. Either he will see her way (in the case of high reparations to the Southern Water tribe) or she will see his (in the case of executing one of Ozai's old generals who tried to stab her on a walk around the capitol when he recognised her tattoo). He's convinced Aang to get a fringe in order to conceal the blue arrow when she goes out. He doesn't want her to be recognised and hurt.

He wipes his bloody hands on a piece of cloth and considers the new information. Looks like some people weren't happy about the fact that Ozai was killed in his sleep. They expected an Agni Kai. Azul snorts to himself. The man was too dangerous to risk it. Even without his bending Azul still had to work quickly. Besides; they don't have any evidence that it was him who killed Ozai or even ordered Ozai killed. There's the concubine's tea of course; but who knows what that even is? He's completely in the right. It's not about who did the deed. But who can _prove _it.

"Anything else you need sir?" The guard at the door to the cell touches his head to the floor for longer than necessary. In fact it's a bow that's not even necessary considering the circumstances. Azul muses it over to himself before turning back to the guard in question.

"No captain." He gestures to the obviously dead bodies. By the end they were begging for the sweet embrace of death and who was he to deny them. "Take these away. You know what to do."

As he exits the cell he thinks he sees a small flicker of pride in the old captain's eye.

Loyalty's given where loyalty's due.

The fact that he got names in good though. He could send assassins after the culprits. Or, he muses to himself, he could always go alone.

He thinks about it, decisions decisions.

* * *

Crown Prince Azul's biggest talent when he was younger was invisibility. He used it well. He avoided his father. His mother. His uncle. His brother. He limited the amount of human contact he had but he was always a people person.

The servants adored him. He won them over with tiny shows of kindness in a household where there was none. He knew as well as anyone else that the kindness he gave them also gave them hope. He helped up an old maid from where she'd fallen in the hall and personally carried her to the physician. He never reprimanded them for broken objects and instead helped them clean up.

They were loyal to him to the end. It was easy asking them to procure some bending suppressants for him. They would have risked anything for the young prince.

The guards liked him. He had an easy going personality that he created to curry favour. He oversaw drills and helped with small tasks such as decided the exact number of soldiers to send into battle and the overseeing of new recruits. The small tasks that his father couldn't be bothered with and yet were integral to the war effort. They liked him since he helped them. They liked him since he didn't pretend to be above it all. They admired him for his skills. It was easy to request to see the Avatar and change the guards on duty even when the Fire Lord had requested no visitors.

His tutors liked him. He was eager to learn and respectful. He only had one request; that they never requested an audience with his father or his mother concerning his work. He wanted to be invisible.

The tutors knew about the unstable life of the Fire Lord's family and pitied him. They granted his requests partly out of like for him and partly because they didn't even want to speak to the head of the royal family. They had played right into his hands.

The public liked him. He often went on walks through the city and he allowed people to approach him. He never went out with him palanquin. He gave money to beggars and patted small children on the head. He made small talk with the middle class, the nobles and the working class. He was kind and respectful. There was no wrong he could do. The country was his before he'd even thought up the plan to take the throne. The resistance during his coronation was non-existent.

Azul wasn't stupid. He was sharp. He knew things and he knew how to get to the throne. He avoided his family. Most of the time he was sure that they didn't even know the second son even lived. His mother never made an effort to talk to him. His father never made an effort to summon him. His uncle barely knew he existed and his brother had bigger worries than a sibling with a knack for invisibility.

Azul knows from as young an age as he can remember that Zuko wasn't meant to be Fire Lord. He does owe most of his unscathed childhood to him though so he doesn't resent his brother. Because of Zuko their mother is preoccupied enough with giving him love to leave her younger son alone. Because of him his father too busy between hating his elder son and trying to get the throne to bother Azul. But Zuko just isn't meant for court life. He's too brash, too loud, too _honest_. He doesn't understand how to handle nobles and courtiers.

Azul is the opposite. He knows how to flatter and win over and talk and _use._ Azul is a master politician before he can talk. He knows the second his brother was challenged to the Agni Kai that there is more at work here. He knows the second he sees his father in the ring that this is the beginning of the end.

By the time Zuko's on the ship sailing away Azul already has a half-baked plan cooking in his mind.

No one can say that Azul was lonely. He had the people, the guards, the servants, the nobility. He just can't forget the way the heard his mother whisper goodbye to Zuko and not spare a second glance at his room. And yet.. Azul knows there's something broken in him. He knows there's something wrong with him. It hovers at the edge of his vision. Waiting to claim him. It's a horrible lingering darkness and Azul knows his father succumbed to it but he promises himself he won't. He swallows thickly as he mind fills with screams. He will try as hard as he's able to.

* * *

Aang is seated at his right side in the meeting. The proper place for the Fire Lady. He listens to his councilors talk and discuss the price of retributions to the other nations. He hums quietly to himself. He doesn't need to hear the argument because he doesn't care. The Fire nation can easily pay the retributions and more. It's just human greed that's causing some of his advisors to try and reduce the costs.

Azul breathes a sigh of relief as Lord Qin's voice dies out.

He stands and faces the room.

"I do not believe trying not to pay the full reparations will be possible." He starts. As Qin moves to speak he calmly puts up his hand and the man is quiet.

"We had to send an inventory of out treasury to both nations." He faces all of the cooly, "I'm sure they know that we can pay and more besides." He shakes his head, "We do not want to create tensions at this point."

The officials eye each other and murmur in agreement.

Even Qin bows his head, "I understand my Lord." And Azul knows he has won this battle.

He spares a quick glance at Aang and she mouths a "Well done." when no one else is looking. She also clasps his hand under the table and squeezes. He squeezes back and that's human contact isn't it? That's affection.

_She's the first._


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- OK, so. reviews appreciated disclaimer yada yada. I do not own yada yada. Updating every wekk on wednesday... Enjoy the show! **

It turns out they don't need to go out and find the gang after all.

The gang finds (or rather comes) to them first.

"Guys!" Aang delighted squeal echoes throughout the throne room and even the guards looks as though they might break their emotionless facade and break out into smiles. The atmosphere of the Palace has taken a turn for the relaxed. Servants chat good naturedly when they pass each other in the corridors. Aang whizzes around on an air-scooter. Tackling their Fire Lord from behind as they both laugh and the guards smile behind their visors. Azul has everything where he wants it to be and for once can relax. "Relax? You can never relax?" Voices taunt him in the far recesses of his mind. Sometimes they pipe up to drag him down. But he plasters his oh-so familiar mask on his face and breathes the demons out. Though he knows there's only so much self-exorcism you can do.

"When you said you were going to do something stupid that might not work I didn't have this in mind." Comments Mai dryly as she observes Azul lounging on the throne. He's struck by how familiar she looks. She's exactly the same. Same hair, same eyes, same voice while... he watches Aang attach herself to Katara, he thinks he might be different. A bit different. A lot different. No, just a bit. Affection and late night conversation and finally being able to exercise his long practised political muscles have given him heady rush of constant adrenaline. Neophobic. Neophobic. But he isn't. Not really. She's just the first thing that's ever been his so obviously his. Which is new and scary and unusual. She's the first thing that's ever known him. At least, that's what he tells himself. Sometimes he can feel the bad stuff creeping in and that's when he should stop _fucking_ thinking. So he turns his attention to other things and uses the long perfected mean of abandonment. Dodge and avoid.

He's taken down the wall of fire; deciding it's unnecessary fire bending and overall useless. Besides, he likes being able to see the people that come in instead of having his vision impaired. It was also always a disadvantage to the Fire Lord to be trapped in his own throne room. If a powerful enough fire-bender came along they could easily wrestle control of the fire away from him and he wouldn't be able to stop them. It's safer this way.

The attention of the group is turned to him and he shrugs. "It was a pretty stupid plan that somehow worked." he frowns slightly, "I did come up with it when I was eleven." He knows the guards won't breathe a word that it was his plan. Besides, no one can prove anything. Word of mouth is terrible evidence. Aang is smiling and she knows that he won't tell them the full story of what he did. It makes her feel special in a strange way. She's always special (being the last air-bender and also being the Avatar can do that) but it makes her feel special in the way that she feels needed. Needed and trusted.

Even Katara looks impressed at this point. Only Zuko looks like he suspected it.

Aang grins at him, "My hero." She says in an exaggerated sickly sweet voice while batting her lashes at him. She calls him that a lot as a joke. He laughs and teases back but they both know it's true. _The only thing that's ever belonged to him._

The rest of the group watches in amazement as he laughs, "Who got you out of prison?"

Their heads whip back to Aang as she retorts, "Who helped you negotiate with the guys from Ba Sing Se? As I remember they weren't too happy with you after you conquered their city."

At this Azul scowls heavily, "I challenge you to an Agni Kai for this lack to respect!"

The only sound louder then Aang's musical peals of laughter are the heavy guffaws of the guards, "What?" Azul asks in irritation.

The rest of the gang is watching with wide eyes and even Ty lee murmurs out a, "He's actually letting people laugh at him."

Azul turns to a guard, "What's so funny?" He demands.

"Nothing sir," Gasps out the guard, "Only you've challenged the Lady to an Agni Kai almost every three hours since you've been in the throne room."

Only Zuko notices the way they call her _Lady._

Azul grumbles and glares at Aang.

"If I remember correctly," Aang begins innocently, "The guys from Ba Sing Se wanted to challenge you to a duel for being an honourless bastard," He voice falters ever so slightly on bastard though Azul doesn't think anyone besides him notices the difficulty she has with saying anything rude.

She walks up to him, "Who stopped them?" She asks, her voice is alight with humour.

Azul throws up his hands, "You've got me." he admits regretfully.

She giggles and sits herself on him throwing her arms around his neck and snuggling up to him.

The gang watches with wide eyes.

"So..." Zuko starts, "Would anyone mind telling me what's going on?"

* * *

Hearing that the war was over was the sweetest thing anyone is the group had heard, even Mai had laughed as Zuko jubilantly kissed her. It hadn't taken much convincing when they found the gang that they were now on their side. The odds were stacked against them and the fact that they both refused to fight showed something. Only an idiot would try and join them then. An idiot or someone truly desperate. They'd explained how Azul had sent them away. Ordered them away from the palace and to wherever Zuko was. How desperate he was when he grabbed them and explained how he had a plan and needed them gone incase it didn't work. It was only when they were safely snuggled down with the group after they'd found them that Ty lee had turned to Mai; eyes wide and unexpected emotion on her tongue.

"Azul cared." was all she managed to blurt out before dissolving into tears.

Suki had cried when the news of the war's end had come and she clutched at Sokka peppering his face with kisses.

Katara's wide eyed silence was enough.

They had traveled all the way to the capital, surprised as they began to hear more and more. How _Azul_ was the new Fire Lord. Mai ad Ty lee had already explained that he had a plan when they'd arrived at the group's camp but they had expected it to be Aang who got free and defeated Ozai. They began to feel even more confused as the talk of a wedding had swirled around.

"Azul's getting married?" Sokka had asked the rest of the group. He only felt confused as he saw Zuko was just as out of his depth.

As they got closer they began to hear that peace treaties had already been formed.

"Is Azul that good of a negotiator?" Suki had asked Zuko.

Zuko had shook his head as though he was trying to clear it, "He's good but I doubt anyone's that good." To already have treaties and reparations and everything sorted out was... a miracle. Zuko didn't know his brother very well. He never seemed to be around when they were younger. But he did know that Azul was smart. But smart enough to end a war in a few weeks?

It took time to get from their secluded hide-out in the western air-temple to the Capital of the Fire Nation. Especially on foot. Appa had been captured during the eclipse and they had no other means of travel. The air ship that Ty lee and Mai had used to get out of the Fire Nation had been shot down by a paranoid Zuko when they were about to land.

So the slow influx of news showed just how surprisingly the world had changed. What was even more surprising is people were praising the Avatar. The citizens of the Fire Nation were actively smiling when Aang was mentioned.

Katara had tuned to Toph, tears of relief in her eyes, "She's safe!" But that didn't quell the confusion.

So when the group had burst into the throne room (after being let in by the guards after explaining who they were, which was odd in itself. Who knew Fire Nation guards guarding the palace could be so _relaxed. _Although... it was almost like they were waiting for them.) and saw Aang air scootering around while Azul lounged on the throne they had been thoroughly surprised. Zuko saw the way Azul's eyes followed Aang. But he didn't comment.

They had been even more surprised when an unharmed Aang had descended on them with hugs and relief filled decelerations.

* * *

Zuko watches Azul and Aang interact carefully. She's still sitting on him. Finger's laced together and his head is resting on her shoulder.

There's familiarity in the gesture and he wonders for a second about what happened during that month and a bit she was in captivity. He knows what happens in the Fire Nation's dungeons. Knows what happens to _desirable _female prisoner but he can tell by the lightness in Aang's steps that that didn't happen to her. He wonders if Azul had anything to do with that. He wonders about what happened when she was released.

That's when he notices it, the ring carved with the symbol of his nation resting innocently on the forth finger of her left hand. His eyes dart to Azul and he sees that he too is wearing a ring.

"I don't believe this!" he seethes. She's too young! What's Azul playing at? Coming of age happens at fifteen in the Fire Nation but he knows that the Fire Lord has the ability to override any law.

Azul's eyes on him are calm. "So you finally worked it out." Azul knows her friends wouldn't be pleased. Knows that they would probably put up a fight. After all; he did chase them and try to kill them multiple times. Although, his lips quirk into a smile, he always knew Ozai would fall. He was just biding his time.

"She's too young!"

"She could have been younger."

"Bastard."

It's Aang that stops him.

"It was necessary." She says quietly.

He looks at her in confusion.

"Necessary?"

She nods. "How else do you think the treaties were negotiated. The other nations needed assurance."

Zuko reels as he realises that she's right. Azul is a better politician than he ever gave him credit for.

He only managed to choke out the first two words of his question but Azul understand anyway.

"Did you?"

Aang is blushing tomato red. She's spluttering and jumps off Azul's lap as though she's been burned.

Azul shakes his head as he watches her go, "She too young brother." He replies wryly.

* * *

The gang have been settle into the palace. They all have their own rooms unless they want to share (Mai and Zuko, Suki and Sokka) and the accommodations are comfortable and the food is good. It's the most relaxed they've been in months.

They gather in Zuko's room that night. Katara and Sokka are due to leave tomorrow to go down the South pole to see their family and Suki needs to visit her warriors.

Toph is considering visiting Iroh in Ba Sing Se now that the danger has passed and she can travel freely and Ty lee wants to rejoin the circus. Conversation is light as they muse over the many things they can do and all the new opportunities they have now that the war is over. (They can barely believe it. Can barely believe that the war was ended by one of their worst enemies. Can barely believe he's married. But to who? And why is Aang in the throne room teasing him like they've known each other for years? What happened? It's a topic that they'd rather dodge then discuss. At dinner that night when Sokka had blurted out a "how did you kill Ozai?" the rest had held their breath. They wanted answers but they knew about Azul's... temper. Azul had simply taken a sip of his wine, it stained his lips and mouth a dark red and smiled wolfishly at them.

"I didn't.")

That is until Sokka asks a question, "What happened today in the throne room Zuko? You seemed to be pretty angry."

Zuko pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Guess who Azul married."

No one really gets it at first until Mai whispers a soft, "Why?"

That's when all the pieces begin to slide into place.

"That bastard." Snarls Sokka, "She's only thirteen! I should go-"

Suki stops him, "No Sokka! Aang must've agreed to it. They looked happy enough..."

Katara claps a hand to her mouth, "Have they..."

Zuko shakes his head, "He said she was too young."

The others look at him questioningly and he sighs, "It was mostly for political reasons."

The others finally understand. Though true understanding only comes with time.

* * *

When they meet them for breakfast the next morning there are sign that they can't believe they missed; Azul watches her. He almost never stops watching her. And only Zuko, only Zuko who knows his family and knows their eyes and smiles since he's seen the emotions reflected so many times in Ozai's and his own see the pure possessive obsession in Azul's eyes. He doesn't comment.

But she's still unflappable optimistic Aang and she talks happily at breakfast; enough for all of them and the way she innocently talks about the flowers in the garden and the turtleduck chicks makes them realise that nothing's happened. Probably nothing will happen. Zuko wonders to himself about the look in Azul's eyes as he pretends to be immersed in his bread. Azul looks as though he would torture and maim for as small a digression as laying a hand on her perfect skin. So where does that leave Azul?

The gang sees the truth in the way they interact and the way they talk to each other. It's too light for her to have given herself to him that way yet.

So they all go their separate ways, except for Zuko and Mai who stay in the palace, and none of them worries too much about Aang.

Except Zuko who might not know his brother but does know his flesh and blood.

And his instincts are screaming that something has to give.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: okay, warning time! This chapter deals with lemon. Aang is sixteen when it happens which is legal in the UK. She may be underage in some places though so if you don't want to read please don't! Right, now I want to say that in-your-face erotica had never been something I've been comfortable with writing. I'm never sure how to make it relaistic without becoming tacky and this was a bit of a personal challenge for me... If you like it please tell me and if you didn't.. oh well... tell me too i guess (but please don't be too harsh).  
So... onwards!**

It's becoming harder and harder to avoid the growing pool of warmth in his belly as he watches her. She's already fifteen. He's already eighteen. She's grown. Her hips have widened slightly but he knows that she'll always be small and slight. Like the wind itself. Her breasts are humble but he thinks over how they'll fit in the palm of his hand. He wonders what colour the nipples will be, dusky pink? Light red? Soft brown? Her hair has grown long and lush and she cuts it herself every few months.

He wants her to be his. He wants everything she can give him. He wants to explore and let his hands roam and know everything about her. He wants to touch her in places she's probably never even touched herself in. He wants her.

He wants her so much he aches.

They've slept in the same bed for a little over a year and a half. He knows the way she sleeps. How she turns over every three hours. How she likes to entwine their bodies together so tight that when they wake up they don't even know where she begins and he ends. They're so intimate. Much more intimate then any couple who actual delve into each other's bodies are. He knows her almost as well as he knows himself. He knows how she likes running but can never be bother to do it. He knows how she's horribly self-conscious and sometimes (for all her monkly principles) she just wants him to hold her and tell her she's beautiful. She likes routine that peppered with spontaneity and he can't begin to count the number of times she's grabbed his hand, hopped onto Appa and they've flown away to discover some new island. Or visit an air temple. Or rode a sea-serpent. Or paid out-of-the-blue visits to her friends (and maybe his too. If his esteemed and trusted advisors count as friends. Mai hangs around the palace with Zuko so he has plenty of time to catch up with her and talk. Ty lee can sometimes be caught during a performance at the fire nation circus which she travels with.). He knows how she loves lychees but refuses to eat them in a pie. She likes to eat her fruit pie by first picking out all the fruits, then eating the custard, then eating the fruits and maybe nibbling at the pie crust. She never finishes it. He knows all about her life. He knows about her friends Bumi and Kuzon. He knows about the people at the air temple. He knows all about how she was slowly shunned for being the Avatar. How she was moved away from her female friends to the Southern air temple once they found out the news so she could train with some of the best. She never saw those friends ever again. Monk Gyatso came with her but she almost never saw him. She was always busy. He knows about how they planned to send Monk Gyatso away, believing him too much of a distraction from her studies.

Is it better, he had asked himself as she recounted her tale, to know love and loose it like she did or never to know it so you didn't have anything to miss like he did?

He may know everything about her but she knows next to nothing about him. She doesn't mind though. She may not know his past but she knows him now and she will know him all the way until they die. She's quite sure she loves him (though she can't be certain, she's never loved before and has nothing to compare her feeling to) and will continue loving him forever. To Aang life is simple and innocently thinking about forever isn't dangerous. It's natural.

She still changes everything but her bindings out in the open. He watches as she pulls the shirt over her head and the warmth pools even more. Her spine curls like a snake; disappearing under her binding or into her sleep trousers. Her skin is smooth and unblemished apart from the large star shaped scar that mars the arrow on her spine. Though it really isn't spoiling her. Not to him at least. He knows he should feel guilty and hate himself for hurting her so obviously. But he just can't. He likes the scar. It's like some giant irrefutable piece of evidence that she's _his. _She's the first thing that's ever belonged to him and the only thing that probably ever will. In some strange animalistic way he's marked her as his. He's branded her. Marked her long before he knew she would be his. Well... that's not entirely true. He's wanted her from the second he saw her. Above it all Azul is still a collector. He collects political support. Collects his allies like pinned butterfly-ants. The Avatar would have always been an unusual and definitely desirable specimen. But, as he watches her dress at the foot of his bed, he knows that when he heard she was in a cell his heart didn't jump at the thought of collecting her. No, it was something different.

He prays that she doesn't notice the way desire is making him lightheaded. She's still innocent and the lust clouding his judgment should be firmly locked away. However her sixteenth birthday is approaching and he promised himself when he married her that he wouldn't make any moves on her until she reached sixteen. That would the the honourable thing to do. He smiles wryly to himself as he watches her; curled up next to him and nattering on about who knows what.

She's the first thing that's ever been his and he intends to keep it that way.

* * *

Aang may be young but she isn't blind. Or stupid. Besides, she isn't even that young anymore. She's fifteen. That's actually quite old. Or, if she's going to be technical, she a hundred and fifteen. She's ancient.

She isn't blind or stupid and therefore doesn't miss the way her husband sometimes makes her breath catch or her vision swim.

When he's fire-bending and he has that intense look on his face. He's well muscled and when he covered in sweat it makes her breath catch a little though she doesn't know why.

She a little too scared to touch herself. (If she's being completely honest no one's ever tried to explain the finer points of the female anatomy to her so she's deeply at loss.) And therefore she can only get slight hints of pleasure that come and go. Sometimes if her hand brushes over her breast as she changes her bindings her nipples will harden and she wonders at the change. It's.. tingly and different but not unpleasant. She can't quite put a finger on the sensation though. It's not pain, not cold, hot, warm, not ticklish, not prickly, not throbbing... Or maybe it is... sometimes if she lets a hand properly _feel _her breast she'll feel a strange throbbing sensation down below. Then if she clenches her legs together the feeling will intensify and she'll be left feeling slightly wobbly legged. She's not sure if Azul will ever properly _consummate _(the word almost feel forbidden... naughty to her) and she can't tell if she scared, frustrated or exited. She knows so little of her own desires that when it does happen she'll be painfully out of her depth. She blushes slightly at how embarrassing that'll be at the time. She can't bear to ask anyone and can only pray that when (if) the time does come he'll understand.

There's are some things though...  
He's never forced her. Never even mildly tried to touch her. Their wedding night had her in floods of tears. She knew about consummation of course; knew that it was necessary to make children and show a marriage but it _scared _her. She'd never seen it done. Well... almost never.  
She was a little too young to fully understand. She was a bit too young to see what was happening.  
She still feels guilty sometimes.  
Seven years old and chasing Bumi around Omashu. A little too young to really be on her own but it's fine. Omashu is safe. Or at least... As safe as it can be.  
The man is taller than the girl. Not really a woman but maybe not a girl either. The girl woman is crying and screaming and begging. Aang hid herself and watched; she just didn't _understand_. She didn't think he was really hurting her, she was crying but she wasn't bleeding and wasn't bruised and if she can admit it to herself she was a little too scared to 's ripping off her trousers and Aang's getting this horrible "something's not right" feeling before there's blood and whimpering and his harsh guttural moans. Aang feels tears pool in her eyes; she doesn't really understand what's going on. Doesn't understand what's happening to this woman.  
She leaves before it's over and doesn't really sense the full gravity of what she saw until years later.  
That's the only understanding she's ever had of men and women. The only thing she's ever seen that can explain words like "sex", and "pleasure" and "consummation".  
She was terrified the night of the wedding; that she can freely admit. She's not terrified now but the _sounds _that woman made...

It's Azul. It has to be okay.

* * *

Suki's birthday is the turning point. It's held in Kyoshi Island and the heat is stifling. He assumes that's why Ty lee's dressed her so scantily. The top shows off far too much of her belly and the skirt is tiny. Her legs are long and lush and he sees the way even Zuko watches her move. His mouth waters slightly as he thinks about what would be under that skirt- but he cuts the thought off midway. Now is not the time.

She's still Aang though. She talks too much and giggles as she chases him through the surf. The gang have almost completely accepted him. He _is_ married to their leader. Sokka and Zuko still watch him suspiciously sometimes and he doesn't understand what they think he can gain by attacking them. After all; they should both know that the one thing that Azul isn't is stupid. And attacking the Avatar's friends or the Avatar herself would definitely be considered stupid.

He still feels Zuko's eyes on him though and silently counts down the seconds until his brother will approach him about the _consummation _side of his marriage. To be honest the officials and councillors haven't approached him yet about that tiny detail. It struck him as odd until he realised that they must have expected him to have already done it. That or they are scared of the repercussions of making him angry. He did make it clear that their business was just that; their business.

Deflowering a thirteen year old is something Azul finds quite dishonourable. Not that he ever cared about honour unlike his big brother Zuko. Honour was an illusion. Honour didn't get him the title of Fire Lord with the Avatar by his side and his father's body smoking slightly as it was buried (in an unmarked grave on unconsecrated ground). But the more honour people thought he had the better. He was ruling a country and needed respect; if liking him made people respect him who was he the argue?

And the thought of holding her down and ploughing into her while she weeps out of fear doesn't exactly paint an image Azul wanted their wedding night to be like. He hasn't forgotten how afraid she was. He also hasn't forgotten how afraid she was in her cell when he tried to touch her for the first time.

That night as they watched the bonfire burning and Sokka feeds Suki roasted marshmallows Zuko turns to sit next to him. Azul smirks inwardly; the time has come.

"Hey," Zuko whispers.

Azul looks up at him in mock confusion. (Not that anyone can really tell the difference anyway. Well... Aang can but that's a completely different matter.)

"What do you want?" He asks, his tone isn't unfriendly. Just curious.

Zuko seems to be struggling somewhat with his question. It must seem unseemly to Zuko to ask something so personal and intimate about their relationship. For a moment he marvels at how deep Zuko's affection's for Aang must run if he's willing to ask such an... _impolite_ question. It's almost dishonourable to ask a brother if he's popped his wife's cherry. Azul smirks a little to himself. What an interesting image...

"Have you touched her?" He finally asks, gesturing to Aang.

Azul snorts, "If you mean have I held her down and made her scream the answer's no." he tends to get more graphic when edgy and the question of consummation always makes him edgy. Zuko's eyes open wide and he holds up his hands.

"Whoa," he appraises Azul, "Why not?"

Azul growls silently, does he need to explain himself to everyone? "She's still a child." He snaps and Zuko turns and sees Aang dancing through the waves, she's giggling and smiling and using her bending to try and make Toph go under. She suddenly yells something about riding the Unagi and dives off into the surf.

"She isn't as childlike as she was." Zuko ends with as he gets and and walks away.

Azul watches her to his growing discomfort. The skirt is far to short and the top doesn't conceal very much. She bounces slightly as she runs and that doesn't help anything. He swallows thickly and tries to regain control. As he methodically orders out his thoughts he feels something that gives him a second of pause. The darkness is still there. He frowns; it's one of those things that lies scattered at the edges his mind. Scuttling away when he tries to pinpoint exactly what it is. He shivers slightly despite the heat as he feels the needle like tendrils of the darkness leave. He's worried; but he doesn't need anyone to know that.

So instead he turns his gaze towards Aang and allows the desire to take up the forefront of his mind.

He's got more important things to worry about.

Aang babbles on as they walk through the door of their spacious beach villa later that night, "And Ty lee talked about how much she liked being with the Kyoshi warriors when- mph!"

His lips are on hers and one of his hands is tangled in her dark brown hair. The other traces a burning line down her arm and across her belly.

His voice is ragged when he speaks, "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She can only stare wide-eyed up at him.

He grinds his hips purposefully into hers and almost smirks at the sound of her breathy moan.

It's then that he remembers the age promise.

He leans down to whisper in her ear.

"I promised I would wait until you turned sixteen and that's what I'm going to do."

And with that he releases her and takes her hand to lead her to their bedroom.

* * *

Aang's lips burn and the path he traced down her side burns even hotter. She leans over and watches him as he sleeps.

She wondered when he would decide to take her as his wife. She knew at first the partnership was for political reasons. They were friends.

But now...

She looks at him and can only remember the way his hips ground into hers and the flash of pleasure she had felt.

Then the woman- STOP. It's Azul.

She doesn't know much about male and female coupling, only the basics and she can feel the nervousness pool in her stomach. But this is the man who saved her from prison. Who killed (she falters on that) Ozai. This is her _husband_ and he's never done anything to hurt her and he's never acted improper in front of her.

He lets her have her fair share in running the kingdom and whenever she needs to go away to mediate conflicts or check up on the northern air temple they always right letters to each other. Besides, with him she feels _safe._ She remembers back in her dingy cell the never ending _pain_ and the darkness and the apprehension that make her heart _bleed_. She thinks the uncertainty was the worst punishment there could be because it turned everything into an enemy. Something to hurt. "They were so close." She murmurs to herself as she watches Azul's chest rise and fall, "They were so close to breaking me."

Because above all the simple Air bender only needed one thing that hadn't been granted to her. She only needed a small speck of human comfort and companionship. She didn't get any.

At least until Azul turned up.

Besides; they meshed well together. They fitted together and he listened to her (granted almost the whole world listened to her but he was different). He respected her and let her have her fair share of responsibility. He didn't baby her. He... he _loved_ her (dare she say it?). They had a natural affinity for one another; how else could she explain how easy it was to sleep by his side, tease him during the day, hold his hand, talk to courtiers with him and all the other nuances of court life?

She loved him; that much she was certain of.

She looked away and settled down to sleep; cocooned by his side.

* * *

Her sixteenth birthday party is fun. Her friends are there and they talk late into the night. She smiles and laughs and eats cake and dances in the moonlight of the Palace garden's and she feels happy.

But when they retire for the night the first coils of apprehension begin in her stomach.

She shivers as she looks up at Azul on the way back to their room. He's carrying her bridal style and she snuggles deeper into him. When he scooped her up after the last of the guests had disappeared and she had asked what he was doing he simply smirked at her. "It is customary for the groom to carry their wife to the bed." He had whispered and with that the... _throbbing _had intensified.

Azul knows he has to be careful. Has to be gentle with her. She's a virgin after all and he wants to make this the best night of her life. Wants to make it something she'll always remember and think about whenever they sleep in this bed, or when he touches a certain part of her body, or says a certain word or even _looks_at her a certain way. He wants to be able to make her blush in public at a memory. Wants to make her laugh and smile and gasp. Wants to make her whimper and beg and _scream_.

But he's her first. She's a virgin so he's going to take care of her because- he swallows thickly- he thinks he might love her. And you should always take care of your belongings.

He kicks open the door to their room and lays her gently on the bed. He's eighteen now and she can't help but feel nervous.

"I-I'm sorry," She mumbles as he climbs onto the bed with her, "I- I don't know what to do and I might-" He cuts her off with a firm kiss. His lips press against hers softly. Once, twice, three times before he had very gently taken her bottom lip in his teeth and tugged slightly. She had gasped at that, at the cornucopia of _new_ sensations. New feelings and sensations. He licked the bitten lip gently and sneaked his tongue into her mouth. It felt strange to her, but not bad strange. Good strange. And as he began to probe and feel and stroke she can feel something welling inside her. Something like water on one side of a dam. She wonders if the dam is going to burst and what will happen if it does.

When he finally draws his tongue out of her mouth he smiles down at her and she remembers who he is. This is _Azul. _Her husband Azul. Who helped her and never hurt her and held back her hair when she threw up and stroked her back when she cried and _took care of her. _

"Don't worry." He whispers, breathe ghosting over her. Raising goosebumps as he echoes out loud her earlier thought. "I'll take care of you."

He starts with her top, unbuttoning it with reverent care. It's hot in the Fire nation and it's a simple short sleeved blouse. It's made of a flimsy silky material and suggests everything but reveals nothing.

"I love you in this top." He murmurs into the perfect expanse of peach skin. "You looked so beautiful and perfect. I was watching you as we were dancing," He meets her eyes as he says this. Meets her shocked and happy eyes, "I was imagining doing this to you." He does away with the last button as he says this. "I was imagining kissing you here." He kisses her forehead gently and she giggle because it _tickles. _"And here." He places a series of open mouthed kisses down her neck.

"You taste delicious." He whispers into her voice box and she's never felt so _loved._ "I was imagining doing this." He licked her collarbone and blew gently on the wet skin. The cool made her gasp. "I wanted you so badly. I've wanted you ever since we got married."

She might as well know.

"You weren't ready that first night and I didn't want to push you." Her goes for her lips again and doesn't re-surface until they're both panting.

Azul doesn't know why he's talking so much. It's completely out of character. He doesn't _talk_. He flatters and states and answers but he doesn't babble mindlessly like he's doing right now. He doesn't even really know what he's saying; only that she's got to understand. That she's got to hear the depth of his feelings. Like any good politician Azul knows that anything that's said without being considered carefully first can be used against you. That any kind of unconsidered talk could be dangerous. He's crossed a line. All of this talking is stupid but he can't stop.

"You're so beautiful and perfect and untouched. You're so light and amazing."

He kisses down the line of skin exposed until he gets to the top of her bindings. At that point he raises an eyebrow. She's barely able to nod in permission; she's drowning under the weight of all this new sensation and he smiles as he begins to unwind them. Exposing more and more skin to his appraisal.

He smiles at her breasts when they're free. They're so much like what he lay awake imagining. They're soft and round. Pale creamy skin (this part of her has never seen the sun); the nipples are dusky pink and when he leans down to take one in his mouth she moans loudly.

"You're lovely." He tells her. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." That was too close. To personal. To spontaneous. But it's too late now and he can't bring himself to feel guilty.

"You can be as loud as you want." He whispers into her stomach. "The Fire Lord's chambers are always soundproofed. It would be unseemly if everyone could hear the Fire Lord and Lady's nighttime activities." She giggles at that and he kisses the tip of her nose. She's perfect.

She's vocal in it. He plays her like an instrument. Each action eliciting a different sound. He licks round her breast and sucks it gently. His other finger plays across her stomach and when he decides to turn his attentions south she's already half unraveled beneath him.

Her, beneath him. It's something he's though of before. Her eyes are cloudy with lust and her neck is decorated with bite marks. The claim that she is his. She belongs to him. She's the first thing that has ever belonged to him.

He unravels her other set of bindings with the same care while she squirms beneath him.

"Can you open your thighs?" He asks. He wants it to be her that exposes herself to him. He wants it to be her own active choice.

So she shyly spreads her legs and he smiles as he's greeted with the sight of her for the first time. She doesn't have the unruly patch of curls that every nobleman's daughter he's been with before had. She's quite bare in all honesty. She has dark brown stubble that shows that she must've cut her pubic hair herself. He looks up at her with a question in his eyes.

She blushes as she answers, "I cut it." The blush intensifies as she keeps talking, "It can be uncomfortable sometimes and it's easier when it's cut."

Fair enough, he thinks to himself as he takes in the sight of her. She's smooth and only slightly stubbly. She's the same dusky pink as her nipples and she looks delicate. She's not off-colour and he can see her clitoris peeking out from behind it's hood.

She's beautiful and delicate and absolutely perfect.

The lack of hair will certainly make what he's about to do a lot easier. And a lot more enjoyable for him. The last thing he wants is hair in his mouth.

He eases apart her folds with his tongue as she gasps and squirms. He can feel the wetness seeping through and when he starts to suck on her clit; making it swell and engorge she begins whimpering. The sound is beautiful and only punctuated with the sound of his name.

"Nnnnggh- Azul, Azul please ugggnnnghhhhh. Azul!"

He reaches to help with his fingers as he drives his tongue in even deeper. He gently inserts a finger, noting how tight she is, and gradually creates a rhythm. She bucks her hips and gasps and sobs slightly and he can't help but watch her face. A myriad of emotions flit across it. Pleasure, surprise, frustration and a yearning pleading longing.

He knows it can be hard for women to climax. Knows it's much easier for men to reach that high. He also can understand how frustrating it can be for a woman when she isn't able to climax. Azul loves Aang. He knows that. He's sure he does. He loves her and he wants this to be enjoyable for her. He knows she's never climaxed before, not even by her own hand so as he inserts another finger he promises himself he'll make sure she does.

Her moans are becoming louder and she's becoming wetter and wetter. She's squirming and almost thrashing. He has to stop short of holding her down. He watches as she gets closer and closer. Breathing becoming more and more erratic. He loves her. He did this to her. It was all him.

Something chokes at his chest. For one of the first times in his entire life Azul is speechless; not that anyone will ever know.

When she shatters it's a sight to behold and the sound of her whimpering and screaming and gasping his name is enough to make him throb. He is already painfully hard but now he's unable to take it any longer.

He raises himself above her and looks down at her. Her eyes are fluttering and he knows she's trying to collect herself from the force of her first orgasm. The pale pink undersides of her eyelids greet him as she blinks rapidly.

She looks up at him as he stares down and their eyes meet. She's blushing but it isn't a blush of embarrassment. It's a post-orgasmic flush. She smiles and reaches up a hand at this point to take his face; she positions her lips on his and gently, softly, sweetly begins to kiss him. The kisses before was Azul, intense, these are all Aang. Soft and sweet and _new. _When they part he keeps looking at her. Keeps his eyes locked on hers. He's trying to show her everything he can't say in one look but it isn't enough. He opens his mouth to say something. To tell her. But she just puts a finger to his lips and smiles. She understands and that's one of the reasons he loves her so much.

"You don't have to say anything." She's smiling and her eyes must be reflecting his because all he can see is that _love. _The love that his mother never gave him. That his father didn't understand. That he's been running away from all this time. Or has he? Has he really been running or could it be that no one would ever give it to him.

The darkness is creeping. Tip-toeing silently out of the picture frame and he needs to make it go away NOW.

So he pushes into her.

She winces slightly and when he hits her barrier he leans down and captures her lips in a kiss as he pushes through. He feels her tense and waits for her to adjust to the unfamiliar feel of having someone in between her legs. He understands that she has to set the pace for this and as much as his instincts are screaming at him to pound into her he has to be gentle. When she gives a little experimental wiggle of her hips it nearly send him over the edge but instead he begins to set a slow and steady pace. Drawing out fully before plunging back in. Soon her begs and pleads and moans and whimpers are filling the room and when she explodes she's screaming his name. She's crying to. Tossing her head so the little specks of crystal fly around and splatter against the silk sheets.

"I love you!" she's screaming, "I love you so much! Azul!"

He falters in his rhythm slightly but picks back up against as he feel his own climax coming.

He comes with a roar, breathing blue fire into the canopy of their bed. It sets alight but is put out with a wave of his hand.

He collapses beside her and gathers her into his arms after easing himself out of her.

"I love you." He mumbles into her hair. He's never said it before and it's what he's been trying to tell her the whole way through his babble. It's what he's been meaning to tell her since their wedding night. She's the only thing. The first thing. The one thing.

"I love you more" She whispers into his neck.

And somehow, he thinks that finally someone does.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: This is a pretty heavy one so get ready! It's getting pretty dark but there're some fluffy bits too! Disclaimers and yada now on with the show!**

She's his. She's all his.

The though alone is enough to make him feel drunk. The only thing that's ever belonged to him. He knows he's beginning to verge on possessive obsession (or was he always like this) but he can't stop himself. It's self-destructive and stupid. It's probably going to ruin the only good thing that's ever happened to him but he doesn't care because thinking about it too much is dangerous and will probably dredge up things that he doesn't want to think. So he leaves it and lets it fester. He's always been a good actor.

He's right about never letting her forget though.

He knows she thinks about that night. He makes sure of it. Sometimes during a meeting he whisper a word into her ear, or a a phrase, or he'll touch her collarbone when no one's watching and even that's enough to put a blush on her face.

She smiles when he tells her he loves her. It's become a game for them now. She'll say she loves him and he'll reply that he loves her more. They'll constantly try to outdo each other. Thinking up more and more outlandish ways to say it.

"To the moon and back!"

"The amount of all the stars."

"More than all the individual bits of Appa's fur."

They think up the weirdest ones at the most inopportune times. It's the kind of game that sometimes makes Azul choke on his replies and as much as he loves Aang (and he does, he loves her so so so much) he hates her too. Hates her for being able to break him up into thousands of tiny pieces with a simple word or action. When she smiles at him and the look in her eyes is too much like the way she looked at him that night he can feel words clogging up his throat and he hates her for making him _weak._ Weakness cannot will not be tolerated. Ozai didn't tolerate weakness and he was the only one in his family Azul cared about even mildly impressing when he was younger. Iroh and his mother and everyone else couldn't kill him or banish him without repercussions. He needs to stay on his father's good side if he's going to survive. And in his father's books weakness is a sin.

Aang makes him weak. But she's too good to loose and if the trade off for being weak is having her; is having something that he can hold and laugh with and babble away to, is having something so beautiful and pure and all his then he can accept it.

Not having her is too much to bear and the fact that she has that big a hold on him sometimes keeps him awake at night. Worrying and wondering and in a cold sweat of pure _terror. _She scares him. She scares him so much. She scares him because his feelings for her run far too deep for him to comprehend. They run right down into the darkness and away into the beyond. He can't think about it. Can't think about it. Won't let himself think about it. So what does he do? He does what he's best at. Azul is the master of evade and avoid and sometimes he wonders if he should have been born an air-bender. Free to flit away and dodge and escape. But being a fire-bender is good too. Being a fire-bender is having a weapon at your fingertips; having the fire buried inside you so you can attack and escape and get away whenever you need to. So maybe he is more suited to being a fire-bender. Being a fire-bender means that you always have an out. No one can trap you as long as you don't want to be trapped. You become a weapon in yourself. And that's who (what) Azul is. A weapon.

Sometimes he wonders what he's do if she left him.

He still loves her though.

Once during lunch with the whole gang Aang jumped up and yelled, "The whole length of the path Sozin's comet takes!" She had smiled triumphantly at him while the gang gaped; Sokka with a fork full of food halfway to his mouth. He had considered it before concluding that it was indeed a good one. He had pretended that he really wanted that sip of wine. Not that he actually needed something to wash away the lump in his throat.

"More." He had simply said while she sulked, pushing out her bottom lip.

"Not fair." she had muttered while he laughed.

He loved her. He loved her so so so much.

She's the only thing that's all his.

The only thing that completely belongs to him.

Only Zuko saw the possessive obsession creeping to the surface like the monster under the bed as he watched her chew her fruit.

* * *

"Aang? Where are you?" He'd been searching for her for just under an hour. They had a meeting to go to in around ten minutes and he really didn't need to be late. King Kuei had travelled all the way from Ba Sing Se for this meeting. Granted he was very very late. Late to the point that the meeting was almost postponed to tomorrow. But of course tomorrow Chief Hakoda was visiting so the meeting simply had to be today. Regardless of how late it was.

"Aang?" He poked his head around the sliding door to the adjoining bathroom of their chambers. He then heard a squeak as he saw Aang bent over a sink. She was... scrubbing something? And the water going down the plughole was pink with blood.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her speech was a rush of words. Packed to tightly together that he had to strain to make out what she was saying.

"I'm here to get you for the meeting with Kuei." He said, advancing cautiously. "The meeting is a go for today. We're too busy tomorrow."

As he moved closer he saw the blood going down the drain was quite extensive.

"Are you hurt?" He asked sharply as he moved towards her.

He knelt down next to her. She had slipped to the floor once she heard him enter the room.

In her hands she held her bottom bindings and loincloth. They were stained with blood and in a pile next to her he could their bedsheets and her sleep pants in a pile.

What was she doing?

"What are you doing?" He asked gently. He reached other to pull to dripping garment out of her hands. "Did you hurt yourself?" He began a systematic check of her with his eyes to make sure she didn't have any injuries only to be confronted with her tearstained face.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She was wailing. Obviously in distress. He's almost never seen Aang this _hysterical _before.

"What's wrong?" He asked, he was slightly shocked. Worry was creeping in, was she in pain?

"I shouldn't be letting you in here!" She was still crying. "You shouldn't be seeing this. I'm bringing shame on my family and your family and the whole royal family and-"

"Seeing what?" He asked gently; cutting into her distressed monologue. He had a sneaking suspicion as to what she was doing but wanted to hear her say it. "What are you doing?" He probed gently.

"I'm- I'm-" She broke off abruptly with a shaky breath in. "It said it was forbidden for anyone to see." She whispered, so quietly he had to lean in to hear, "Especially your husband."

"What said?" He asked, "Who said?" Anger was beginning to creep in. Who had dared say anything to the Fire Lady, to the Avatar about what was and wasn't proper for her and her husband.

"The etiquette manual." She answered, seeming to burrow into herself. "I read it a week after we got married. I found it in the palace library while I was looking for a court etiquette book. It said that during... during..." She seemed to steel herself, "During that time of the month you have to wash everything in secret and you can't tell anyone because it could have been a child and it's shameful and-" He cut her off with a kiss. The words were becoming heated and drawing closer together and he wasn't going to let her think any less of herself so he stopped her. He had heard enough anyway.

"That's stupid." He said, quite matter of fact, once he had pulled away leaving her flushed and breathless. "I think that's absolutely ridiculous and I'm going to help you whether you like it or not."

She had started to blush a brilliant red by this point, "No, you shouldn't-"

"No way. I'm helping you whether you like it or not. Now lets go to that meeting."

Aang had mutely followed him to meet King Kuei.

He watched her during the meeting while the King went on about how the damage to Ba Sing Se had almost been completely reversed. He didn't seem to bear any ill will towards Azul but then again he was talking to the man who had ended a hundred year long war (although he wasn't really a man when he was doing it. Age wise he was more of a boy). He happily babbled on about the economy and the state of the buildings and blah blah blah... Azul was still listening of course. It would have been unfathomably rude to tune out a fellow ruler but he was just feeling a little bored. Boredom was an unfamiliar companion. One that Azul had never tried to get to know at length. When he was younger he was never bored, he was always planning and plotting and putting those ideas into motion. He always had something to do. Whether it be visit prisoners, schmooze up to dignitaries, seduce daughters of the powerful, talk to servants, help soldiers... the list was never ending. Boredom now wasn't really boredom. It was simple tedium, the process of having been through something so many times that it looses it's charm. It was then that he got an idea. It was wicked and playful and a little risky but it was a good one.

He discreetly pulled a piece of paper towards him while Kuei continued to drone on and wrote two simple characters on the paper before passing it to Aang. With the same level of stealth she unfurled the paper and stared in shock at the words. She looked at him uncertainly and he winked; subtly but it was still a wink. It was then that she understood and a small smirk had graced her angelic features. Azul watched as a small letter opener rose to hover at the other end of the room.

"I married a genius." He murmured to himself and the opener flew across the room and buried itself in the front of her chest (and coincidentally the leather chest guard that the Fire Nation royalty had to wear at all times in order to prevent assassination attempts. No one knew about it of course. It was a well kept Fire Nation secret). Aang immediately screamed and Azul had jumped up with a yell of anger.

"Assassin!" He snarled. It was then that the others began to notice the opener buried in her "chest" and a few of them screamed too.

Now Azul almost never did things like this. They were too risky and, dare he say it, stupid. But this was making him feel warm with suppressed laughter. Aang was doing a remarkably good job of fainting and Azul was yelling for healers. The meeting had dissolved into chaos with guards running around and healers being called. So when Azul grabbed Aang's hand and they made a break for it no one was none the wiser. They managed to get to their rooms before he yanked the letter opener out of her chest and Aang exploded into laughter. Azul knew that people would soon be looking for them but he decided that it was worth it.

"So..." She started as she traced a pattern on his chest, "Where'd the sudden flash of rebellion come from."

Rebellion? That was an interesting way to put it.

He just shrugged, "We needed to get out of there. Kuei was starting to talk about his flowers."

She had made him like this. As her musical laugh resounded through their room he realised the truth. She had made him like this. She had changed him from an actor playing warm to someone who really was warm.

He couldn't decided whether or not he liked it. It was scary and worrying. He wasn't in control any more. He was giving into impulses and it was worrying. It was new, it was scary. A neophobic at heart he knew no amount of acting to stop the fear that was bubbling up within him.

* * *

It had occurred to her that he didn't really have any pet names for her. Neither did she have with him. They both simply called each other by their names. She liked it like that. It was straightforward and didn't involve anything false. Besides, hardly anyone ever called them by their names anyway.

She was thinking about this is she stood in their bathroom, watching Azul heat the bath water to the right temperature. When he was satisfied he turned to her asked if she would step closer. She complied and he began pulling her top over her head. Pulling down her trousers. Unravelling her bindings until she was left only in her bottom bindings and loincloth which he soon divested her of. There was nothing lustful in the action however. What was surprising was the lack of lust. When she stood naked and a little embarrassed at the blood tricking down her leg he gently helped her into the bath. The water immediately began to go pink but he simply reached a hand through the water and with the softest of touches began to wash that area. He was thorough and even though she felt far to sensitive to feel pleasure she did feel content in the hot water with him being so attentive and caring. This was a sign of love, she knew it was. He wouldn't be touching her there while she was bloody and disgusting if he didn't love her at least a little bit. She's been handling it on her own since she was fourteen. They were irregular and worrying but she had dealt with it as the manual told her to. In secret, at night, when he wasn't there... It was a sort of dirty little secret. She didn't like it, it made her feel dirty, keeping it a secret but if that's what it took to be a good wife she would do her best. She would be a good wife to him. She would be the best wife she could be.

Azul wasn't sure what he was doing. He just wanted to make her feel better and if showing her that he didn't think it was shameful or disgusting would do it then that was that. Besides, it was just a little blood. As he watched Aang close her eyes he thought that yes, blood wasn't that bid of a deal to him. Not anything that he hadn't seen before.

She sighed happily as she leaned back. He then gently scooped her out of the tub and pulled the plug, watching the pink water swirl away, before asking her if she would refill the water from the buckets. He had ordered the servants to fill up the tub but leave enough water in the buckets for another bath. He watched as Aang complied, waving her hand and allowing the water to float up and into the tub. He always marveled at her ability to bend all of the elements; when he was younger he had studied and read texts about the Avatar, he was always a curious child. He didn't understand how it was possible for someone to be able to bend all the elements, they were all polar opposites. The elements were all contending so how was it possible to contain all their force in one body. Especially one as small and slight as hers. He stuck a hand into the water and heated it up until it was steaming. Then he gently laid her back into the tub and turned his attention to her sleep pants and loincloth and bindings. He had sent the sheets to the royal laundry to be washed and decided that he would wash the other things himself. He knew Aang was still embarrassed by the natural bodily function and decided that while the bloodstained sheets weren't very incriminating her bloodstained garments certainly would be.

So he set to work in the sink, washing the clothes with soap and cold water, humming as he did. It really was surprising that a prince (Fire Lord) knew how to do something as menial and domestic as this but Azul knew that learning humility was a lesson that took time. So he ventured down to the servants quarters to talk and help and generally just learn. It was one of the reasons that they liked him and now he could help his wife. He was a good husband. He was sure of it. He was a good husband. A warrior polishes their weapons and an artist keeps their tools safe. He takes good care of his belongings.

When Aang noticed what he was doing and tried to sit up, "What are you doing?" She asked. Her voice was tinged with something, more embarrassment? It's not proper. The book echoes through her mind. It's not proper and she shouldn't be letting him touch those. But then again she shouldn't have let him touch _her_...

He turned to her, completely calm, "Washing your things." He answered. Calm, collected. In control Azul, though the slight smirk had hinted at playful and sweet Azul.

Aang had simply stared until she began to smile.

"Okay, okay okay." She had murmured sinking back into the water.

"As much as the strength of every gust of wind combined." She said suddenly.

His chest had felt warm and his eyes were prickling.

"More." He managed to choke out. And for once he didn't feel weak. He didn't swallow hard. In control Azul slipped away as he let her hear in his voice just how much she affected him. And that was one of the biggest shows of love. He was letting her see _under_ the mask. See the scarred and ugly flesh beneath.

Love love love.

* * *

"I'm so glad we could work this out." Aang beams at the rough looking earth-bender. Rebellions in the earth kingdom are worryingly common but Aang does her best to straighten things out. She had rushed over on an airship (Appa was tired and resting from their last journey to the South Pole) as soon as she had heard about the commotion. Most of the problem originated from the colonies. Although treaties had already been created and the matter had been discussed time and time again between Kuei and Azul the fact of the matter was that the Fire Nation was only a small string of islands and had no where to put the people from the colonies if they were forced to take them back. So Azul had put on his best negotiator face and Aang had played mediator while the two nations talked it out. The conclusion made rulers happy enough so it was decided that the colonies would remain and the Fire Nation would pay a sort of "rent" cost to the King each year. It was as good a solution as was possible and yet people were still unhappy. Earth Kingdom bandits attacked lone Fire Nationers and set the colonies on fire. This is where Aang would come in. She would rush over, try and mediate things without fighting and make a few arrests. If it did come down to a fight she would do her best not to hurt anyone. She would mostly try and freeze them in ice and contact the local law enforcement to take them away. The problem was that the local police didn't like the colonies any better than the bandits. They wouldn't actively do anything about it but Aang had to wonder how the bandits kept escaping from prison. It was almost like they weren't being restrained

at all. But this was politics and this was life; not everyone can be happy at the same tired so Aang will do her part and grit her teeth and bear it for as long as she has to. She knows she has it better than most.

So here she was, the bandits had surprisingly given up without a fight once she had shown up and had even invited her to their cave "hide out" to discuss things. Aang had made her points and was now sipping on a cup of strange tasting tea that the leader had given her. It wasn't a very big group; that she was surprised about. There was only around fifteen of them. But they were all earth-benders and well built. All were three times her size and mean looking.

"Yes, I'm glad this could be worked out too." The leader smiled at her rather lecherously as Aang uncomfortably finished the last gulp of her tea. She was getting bad vibes off this man and (as she looked around quickly to see the leering faces of his entire group) she wanted, needed, to get out.

She hopped up, "Well, now that that's been sorted out. I think I should probably leave."

"Not so fast Avatar." The hand on her wrist was unwelcome and the sinking feeling in her stomach had intensified. "You aren't leaving just yet."

Aang looked around, the other men were advancing on her. Canary-rabbit and badger-wolves. The horror of what they were going to do hit her full force. She held out her hand, wanting to summon the wind, the fire, the earth _anything. _The elements weren't listening and that's when she knew it was over.

The leader pulled her in until she was flush against his chest, "The tea contained some bending suppressants." He murmured against her hair, it was a move that Azul had done so many times. A move that only Azul was allowed to do. It made her sick to feel this man distorting it. Making it something sick and twisted. "I hope you don't mind. I just didn't want you to ruin our fun by bending yourself away out of commitment to that fire-nation scum husband of yours." His fingers tightened on her arms and she was sure they were going to leave bruises. So was that what this was about? Was it because they hated the fire-nation?

That's when Aang knew what she needed to do. She needed to _survive _this. She couldn't afford to fight and be killed. She couldn't afford to die. She couldn't afford to use the Avatar state and risk being killed and having the avatar die out forever. Especially in this precarious state; the bending suppressants had taken away her bending for now but she wasn't sure how that affected her connection to her past lives. They were a part of her; ingrained onto her soul, not that easy to remove. But she couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk it. Especially not in this deep underground system of caves. She had a limited knowledge of chi bending that Ty lee had taught her but wasn't stupid enough to assume she could take down fifteen earth benders on her own.

No, she would have to swallow her pride and not be _stupid. _

So instead of screaming the hundreds of things that she wanted to she swallowed her pride, her dignity, her reserves, her upbringing and her love. She shoved them aside to make way for instinct and survival. She didn't even dare to think a "sorry" for Azul because them she might break.

"I think." She purred as she ran a hand down the leader's chest, "That we might be able to have a good time."

He was practically salivating now and Aang wasn't going to even let herself _think._

She went up on tiptoe so she could whisper in his ear, "Alone." It was little more than a breath. Her voice low and sultry. It was enough though.

"Men, get out." They filed out without complaint and she knew that he had promised all of them a turn after he was done. The though would have made her sick, except she wasn't Aang now. She was going to live.

She didn't stop him as his hand went for her breast though she would have been burning if she could feel.

Instead she threw back her head and let out a fake moan. Aang's moans were light, breathy, this was deep and heavily sexual. He seemed to be spurred on and continued to paw at her like a wild animal until finally she struck. She always carried a knife in her sleeve at Azul's insisting and she would have sent out a silent thanks to him if she wasn't so _focused. (NO NO NO don't think about him.)_

Her knife sunk into his voice box and he couldn't make a sound. She felt him drop to the floor. Her robe was gaping in the front, binding ripped and torn, breasts hanging loose and nipples traitorously perking in the cool air.

He was gasping slightly as he lay on the ground. Blood seeping into the packed dirt. She leant down and smiled at him, the smile was cruel. This wasn't Aang. This was the will to survive. This was desperation. This couldn't be Aang. But she wasn't _thinking _so she wouldn't know.

"Can you still earth bend?" She whispered in the man's ear. She saw his desperation. His panic. He nodded fiercely.

"Good, good." She crooned. "I want you to bury this place and everyone inside it."

He was staring wide eyed as he choked.

"No no." She put a finger to his lips, "Not us. You're going to bend us to the surface."

That's when she decided he needed some incentive. "I'll heal you if you do." And his eyes were alight with hope.

She smiled, a wicked curl of lips showing far too much of her teeth, "Do it."

Then there was rumbling. She could hear screaming and yelling but was far too detached to care. When the sunlight hit her face all she could do was cry. She cried in relief. She cried in pain and loss. She cried for Azul. For herself. For the loss of what remained of her innocence. For the men who had died. And as the main next to her finally bled out she cried at the first man she had killed. Her first kill that wasn't an accident or by association. She was a murderer.

She didn't know for how long she stayed like that. Crying in the desert; it was at that moment that she realised she had done it herself. No one had come to help her, come to save her and she had saved herself. Her friends didn't run in brandishing their weapons and yelling bloody murder. She had saved herself and it wasn't as though she was proud of it.

She stood on unsteady legs and managed to swipe the man's top before walking back in the direction she was sure they had came in. She didn't know how long it would be before her bending came back. But she did know this was her punishment. Her penance for letting that man touch her, for killing, for lying. This was her punishment and she would gladly undertake it.

* * *

Azul was worried. He had meant to surprise her by coming to pick her up from the earth kingdom on Appa then taking her home. It was a nice plan, one that Appa had agreed with by giving him a firm lick when he had explained why he had to wake him up.

But standing here in the colony that Aang had come to protect while people flocked around to see their Lord wasn't helping the fact that she wasn't here.

"So they just surrendered and invited her for tea?" He raised an eyebrow at the elected leader of the colony. The man was practically groveling at his feet. It wasn't everyday that the Fire Lord paid them a visit.

"Yes m'lord. They went that way." He pointed off in a general north-east direction into the desert. Azul frowned. He was getting a very bad feeling about this.

"Thank you." he said curtly before allowing Appa to take off and lead them to find Aang.

Azul examined the bloody shirtless body with a deadly scowl on his face. This didn't bode well for anyone. He examined the collapsed structure in front of him. It seemed to be a cave entrance that had been leveled. He gave the body one last glare before turning to go find Aang.

"Aang." He called cautiously. Was that her? The figure was wearing the dead man's blood-stained shirt. A vacant look on their face as they stumbled. He would have known her immediately by the way she walked, by her light gait but this wasn't Aang. Couldn't be Aang. This was her body, her slim slender frame that he knew just as well as his own but this couldn't be her. Gone were the light bouncy steps and in their place were stumbling, dragging lunges.

When they turned he knew that was Aang. He knew it. And he didn't want to know it.

"Azul?" Her voice was so soft, so worried that it made him pause. A laugh suddenly bubbled up and burst from her lips. "Azul!" Her face was so eager as she clasped his hands that he couldn't say anything. The second time he'd been speechless and still no one would ever know.

"I'm so sorry!" She suddenly wailed. "I'm a shameful, dishonorable, traitorous human being. I'm the worst wife ever. You can kill me if you really want to." She then dropped to her knees and bowed her head in the universal show of submission. Azul was shocked, what was going on?

"Aang." His voice was gentle, "Come here."

He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to Appa. She was obviously de-hydrated and he had no idea what happened to her.

For once Azul didn't have a plan.

He cradled her in his arms and fed her small sips of water from a canteen he had brought with him.

"It must be heaven." She mumbled into his neck once he had laid her next to him.

"What's heaven?" He asked gently.  
"You not hating me." She mumbled.

"Why would I hate you?" He probed gently.

And with that it dissolved into one of the worst night of his life.

* * *

His back was ramrod straight. His posture perfect. He was a king after all. He was Fire Lord, and he commanded respect.

The room was silent as he entered. The various world leader sat around the table and as Azul sat he silently realised that this could go one of two ways, it could go very well or very very badly.

Listening to Aang relate her little tale as they flew back to the palace was a very special kind of torture. When she'd gotten to the part when the leader had pulled her close a not all there kind of laugh had spilled from her mouth as she cried and laughed and screamed. The sounds would be lost in the wind and no one would ever know just how much she was suffering. She had ripped off the bloodied shirt to expose her own torn shirt and bindings. Her breasts peaked out from behind the mangled cloth and for once the sight her of hadn't roused any kind of lust. It had filled him with horror as he realised the truth. The truth of how far he'd gone and how far he could have gone. He'd touched her and while he felt the guilt at not being there it was strangely slight. Probably because Azul was not an emotional person and he was extremely pragmatic. He knew that the chance of this happening to her was low. Probably because nobody would be stupid enough to try and drug then rape (that's the first time he's ever thought that word out loud, thought it in the context of the whole situation) the Avatar. He knew that there would normally be no need for her to have an escort or help. She's done this a thousand times before. Though when she finally chokes out the whole story he's immeasurably proud.

It it strange for him to be proud of her? No, no it isn't. She was smart. As far as the situation went she was smart. She had used her brain and got out alive and as unharmed as she could be. He was proud and impressed and _sad. _He was furious at what they did to her. Absolutely furious. But he was sad that she had to do that. Sad that she had to go against all her morals and lie, kill and forget her marriage vows. He understands of course. He understands. Azul doesn't have any morals to speak of. He decided a long time ago that any morals that he did have he would probably be forced to break so he doesn't bother. But he knows she does. He knows Aang and he knows that he hates killing, hates suffering. She would have let Ozai live if she had been in his position. What she had to do went against everything she was ever taught. Ever thought. He wonders for a moment if he wasn't the only one that had been changed. She understands him and he understands her. She may not be proud of what she did but he is. He's proud and relieved enough for the both of them.

But she wasn't. She's Aang who values life and hates death and she's _killed_. So all the way home she's screaming, screaming her throat raw and it scares him to see her so out of control. She's crying and screaming and _oh god _she's begging him for forgiveness that he gave her before she opened her mouth. Doesn't she know how much he loves her? This wasn't her fault. Oh agni agni agni.

Please don't go there.

Once they had got home he had gently made her drink a sleep solution. It would knock her out for up to twelve hours which was exactly what she needed in order for her body (and most importantly) her mind to heal. She was still asleep in their chambers as he sat at the meeting table, he had assigned maids to be there when she woke up if he was still in the meeting room. He had told all the servants that she was sick, she had caught something and he still had to go to meetings so they needed to take extra good care of her. The servants loved their kind mistress so they happily complied. Busying themselves with making food fit for an unstable stomach, porridge and conge and simple breads.

Azul had arranged this meeting mostly out of anger. He wanted to sort this out. He knew Aang couldn't have been the first victim of that gang (she was certainly the most high profile but but by no means the first). Azul suspected that they'd done it many many times before Aang and each success had slowly built up their confidence until they felt ready to tackle the heady task of the Avatar herself. They weren't the only group of bandits either. Azul wasn't sentimental. He wasn't doing this for the good of all women, the hard truth is that if Aang hadn't been attacked he probably wouldn't have cared. But she was and he was determined to keep her safe. A good person kept their belongings safe. Azul may not be a good person but he knew he would be even more damned then he already was if he didn't try and help her.

When the murmurs had stopped and each dignitary was looking his way he could practically feel the apprehension in the room. He gingerly felt his face from the inside out and realised that he was wearing his stormiest expression. Well, now or never.

Aang's friends were around the table too, Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Mai, Ty lee, Katara and Toph. All of them were war heroes in their own right and deserved to be here but he had invited them here for another reason. They were all too biased towards Aang to see the matter with a clear head and heart. They loved her too much not to side with him.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Azul stood up as he began talking, he could still feel the death-inducing expression on his face. "It's come to my attention that situations with the colonies aren't going as well as I'd hoped."

He knows he has to keep this impersonal. But still show a certain level of caring. He needs pity and sympathy to swing votes his way but he also needs to present this as a clear case. Not a garbled husband's plea.

"Avatar Aang has to constantly make trips there to try and stop bandits and many other renegade groups who actively try to hurt the people living there.

These bandits burn down houses, they kill husbands, wives and children. They pillage and rape and the colonies are only protected by local police who have no more love for the than the bandits themselves."

This is a heavy accusation and also the point where he brings in the evidence. He makes a signal to a guard by the door and immediately a man is brought it. He is heavy and brutish. The epitome of hard bandit yet when he sets his eyes on Azul he begins to shake in fear. Azul got special jurisdiction to have this famous criminal transferred into the Fire nation's care. This man is an expert of pillaging, killing and raping. His is an expert of everything Azul needs to win this case. He took special care in breaking this man that morning after he got him. He took special care in making him _suffer. _He then got a healer to heal the marks on his body. He doesn't want to seem barbaric. But this man, this man could have been the one that hurt Aang. So he hurt him.

"Lee isn't it?" Asks Azul. He knows the man's name of course. Used it as one of the ways to get under his skin.

The man nods, too terrified to do much else.

"Well then Lee. I'm sure you would love to explain to everyone what you've done."

Lee squirms, "Please..." The word isn't so much an actual plea as a broken ingrained thought. He had begged so much that morning. Azul only has a brief moment of regret. He hopes he hasn't broken this man beyond repair. He's definitely shattered something though.

So Azul simply shakes his head, "Is that what your victims said?" He asks coldly. He can imagine this man and Aang. Can imagine this man hurting her. It's almost sacrament to him, to think about something like that.

Azul sighs, "Lee." His voice is patient, "How did you escape from prison sixteen times?" He hears Kuei suck in a breath at that. Sixteen times?

"I had help." Mumbled the man, "The prison guards used to let us out if we promised we'd do as much damage as we could."

The shock is clearly visible on everybody's faces. Everybody except Azul's that is.

"So, I'll ask again. What have you done?" Azul needs to shock the people. Needs to show them something horrific enough that they'll agree with him.

Then a dam seems to break in the man and he begins talking, "Yes! I loved it! I loved hurting all those people! The thrill when I felt my sword cut through the fire nation scum was priceless! It's was beautiful. And those children deserved to die. They were fire nation! I used to toss them up and spear them with my sword, like a kebab!" He's laughing now and Azul knows he's definitely broken something, ah well. This man is giving him everything he needs. "And all those women." His eyes glitter dangerously at this point. "You sure know how to make them! All pale skin and creamy thighs and the way the blood looked when it splashed against all that white! And they would always be so scared. Such scared little girls. All begging and pleading and "No! Please! Don't do this!"." The man spits on the floor and all Azul can do is marvel at the effect his words are having. Many of the people look quite sick. "I hit them to shut them up of course. I liked hurting them. Those fire nation whores wouldn't think twice about spreading their legs for one of their own." He howls with laughter at this point before fixing his stare on Azul. That's when Azul knows that this man has got some sort of trump card. Maybe not a trump card but he's going to say something that he hopes will affect him. So Azul breathes out his emotions and gets ready to listen. "And that little wife of yours. My my my. When me and the boys heard that she's gotten involved with fire nation scum that just did it! Such a sweet little bitch." Her friends are beginning to reach anger, Azul is probably the only one who's keeping his emotions in check, "I imagined having her you know. We all made bets, bets about who would be the first to take her down and make her _scream_. It wasn't only a bet between men, oh no no no it was a bet between all the gangs. Who would be first to taste a half-_god_? And I bet someone already did. Someone already forced her down on his cock and made her think the taste was better than yours." He wrenches his arms away from the guards at this point and makes a lewd gesture. Sticking up his middle and pointing finger before suggestively licking the space in between them. "Probably the only time to taste an air-bender. Wonder what she does when she comes. Does she float?" He roars with laughter at this as the guards take back his arms. His face turns ugly at this point, "She ain't gonna be yours forever! A bitch can always smell who breeds better and at some point she gonna leave you and find someone better-" Azul makes a motion with his hand and the man is taken out before he can say something that will actually make Azul angry.

He turns to the room and when he speaks again they're putty in his hands. Most of them aren't hardened enough to even imagine let alone hear such horrors.

So when Azul requests that the prison guards and wardens be tried no one opposes him. When he suggests that fire nation troops go in to patrol the area no one speaks up.

_So you need anything else Fire Lord Azul? We can bring you the moon if you want it._

The job is done.

* * *

They all feel sick when they hear what this man has done. But when they hear his overly graphic explanation of what he wants to do to Aang their horror is replaced with anger.

Zuko can't speak and Sokka can only snarl illegibly. Suki looks as though she's about to cry and Katara _is_ crying. Toph can only stand speechless and only Mai and Ty lee are somewhat calm. For one they don't have the family bond that Aang had with the rest of them so they don't see it as horrifically as the rest do. They've also seen bad. They travelled with Azul and Azul doesn't try and hide the world. They often rode through decimated villages, visited corrupt prisons and seen bandits have their way along the road. They aren't immune though and this still makes them feel sick.

The thought... the thought of sweet innocent little Aang in the grip of those monsters over rides their common sense and makes them heady with anger. They need someone to direct their anger to. They need a scapegoat.

It's then that Zuko mutters a "We have to find her." The gang agrees and makes their way to Azul and Aang's chamber. They managed to catch up with Azul as he's going in. Bingo, there's the scapegoat.

"Where's Aang?" Sokka goes straight to the point.

"Inside. Though she can't take visitors."

Suki is indignant, "What do you mean she can't take visitors?" She asks angrily, "We're her friends and we need to see her!"

Above all it seems that Katara had the largest capacity to hurt funnily enough.

"How can you just stand there so heartlessly? Don't you love her! How can you be so calm after hearing what that man wanted to do to her?"

Azul looks her in the eyes and sees a naïve little girl. He can't begrudge that, Katara just hasn't seen enough horrors. "Because it almost did." His words and simple and in the aftermath he slips into the room and closes the door.

For once the whole gang is speechless.

* * *

"Aang? Aang?" Azul gently shakes her. "Aang you okay?"

Aang moans as she turns over, she seems to freeze when she sees him though. "Azul?"

"Right here." He smiles, she seems to be doing better.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs as she sinks back into the pillows.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." he tells her gently as he rests himself beside her on the bed.

She smiles at him, sad and sorry but somehow it speaks of new beginnings.

"Thank you for understanding." She whispers.

They lie in companionable silence for a while.

When she starts tugging at his clothes he's shocked.

"Please." She says at his unspoken question, "Just let me."  
So he doesn't say anything. He doesn't say or do anything as she divests them of their clothing. Soon they're both naked and she cries as she bounces on top of him. There's pleasure but this is more for healing.

"I belong to you." She's sobbing as she rides him, "I belong to you. I'm all yours. Everything of mine is yours."  
He can only watch her, he had nothing to say. Third time he's ever been speechless and still no one will ever know.

Aang keeps talking, "You belong to me too. You're all mine. You're the only one who gets to touch me here," she brings up his hand to touch her breast, "And here." She moves the hand lower.

"You're the only one who's allowed to kiss my neck or whisper into my hair or rest your head on my shoulder or play with my fingers." She swallows thickly before continuing, "And I'm the only one who gets to touch you. I'm the only one who's allowed to do this." She reaches forward to kiss him softly. "Or this." She moves her lips to his neck.

"I'm the only one who's allowed to see you like this." Her eyes burn with possessiveness and he's sure his eyes reflect the same sentiments. "And you're the only one allowed to see me like this."

And suddenly it's too much. The emotion is too much and she throws back her head with a gasp. When he sees it it's too much for him to and he's quick to follow.

As she holds him that night she whispers tiredly to him, "Only one." She mumbles before sleep claims her.

Azul can only stare up at the slightly singed canopy of their bed. He loves her so much sometimes he's sure his heart will shatter into millions of little pieces.

She's the only thing that's ever been his so he puts an arm around her and closes his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Zuko was sometimes ashamed to admit (even to Mai or Ty lee that had seen the truth of the early years at the palace) that he didn't know his brother very well. That would be an understatement, he can't even remember having a sane conversation with the boy. Azul was an enigma in their household when he was younger; a rogue. Zuko's not ashamed to say that he had more important problems than a brother who had a propensity for disappearing.

Azul was like a master magician, there one minute and gone the next. In fact he wasn't even there. He was just gone.

His room was always empty; at least every time that Zuko had gathered up the nerve to go in. He knew Azul was popular with the servants. They gossiped happily about him while Zuko hid in store cupboards and away from his father. His mother didn't seem to worry much about him. He remembers asking her about him once and Ursa simply looking at him in surprise before seeming to remember that she even _had_ another son. She had replied with a quick, "I'm sure he's fine!" before asking Zuko whether or not he wanted a cookie. The seven year old was suitably distracted that time but thinking back on it made him realise just how wrong it was. His father hated him, that was true, but his mother loved him and he knew that always had one parents to turn to. Azul had no one (to the best of his knowledge). He wasn't exceptional in lessons (or at least the tutors never requested an audience with his parents about him) and he just seemed... invisible. He could count the times when he'd seen his whole family together on on hand. The time Fire Lord Azulon summoned them was one, his whole family kneeling together was a novelty. Azulon had given both Azul and him a hard look when they entered and asked to see a few fire-bending moves from both of them. Zuko had stumbled, he wasn't the best fire-bender even at the best of times and Azulon's unwavering gaze coupled with his mother's worried glances and his father's hate-filled stare were too much weight for him to handle at once. When it was Azul's turn he had done a simple Kata; unforgettable, simple, unexceptional. There was nothing noteworthy about it. The steps had been right and the moves completed properly but it had been a simple sequence anyway and their attention was soon diverted. Zuko had often thought that he'd seen a small smirk hovering at the edges of Azul's lips as he did the kata. Azulon's disinterest, their father's apathy and their mother's glazed over look seemed surprisingly... pleasing to the boy. Zuko couldn't figure out why and even now it was still fuzzy.

He knew their mother didn't say goodbye to him when she left. He knew because she had been lucky to escape the palace alive according to Uncle Iroh who escorted her to the port. He often wondered why. Azul wasn't a bad son, in fact sometimes when he was at he lowest out at sea he often why he was even born. Azul would do a good enough job. People liked him. He knew it from the few family outings they had. Passers by would come over to talk to him, guards would clap him on the back, his tutors were always kind (from what he saw) and the servants would have done anything for him. By the time Zuko was banished Azul had had a cult following and two girlfriends. Both had been wealthy noblemen's daughter; beautiful and accomplished.

Sometimes Zuko had to wonder what he game was.

Because that's what life was to Azul. That's how it looked at least. When he was shot by his father and was blindly thrashing around looking everywhere in the audience for a familiar face he had spotted his younger brother. Azul wasn't sitting with the rest of the royal family though. He was sitting alone among a bunch of court advisors. Their eyes briefly met but Zuko couldn't detect any emotion in them. No sympathy, worry, pleasure, disbelief. Nothing. Azul wasn't happy about the fight but he wasn't sad either. He was simply calculating. He looked like he was thinking.

Zuko didn't know Azul very well but he knew his family. He knew Iroh who loved tea and was peaceful. He knew his mother who was gentle and caring. His knew his father who was ruthless and passionate. Azul didn't slot in anywhere. He didn't have their father's passion; he looked more like Mai then a ruthless dictator most of the time. He didn't have their mother's gentle soul. He wasn't peaceful like their Uncle either. He was just Azul. An anomaly. Zuko knew who he was, he was his mother's son, a streak of compassion a mile wide and a generous dose of selflessness. He was Iroh's nephew; a firm believer in second chances. But he had been corrupted and hardened by their father's fire.

So who was his brother?

One thing he did know was that he had been hiding his skills all along. He was a master fire-bender producing blue flames that dwarfed anything Zuko had ever seen; even from their father or Iroh. He was skilled in hand to hand combat. Amazing at planning and plotting and the art of war. He was a politician through and through. He could have been their father's favorite. That's all Zuko can think in amazement as he watches his brother bend (really bend) while hunting the Avatar. So why didn't he take that chance? Why didn't he take advantage of his skills?

Azul is a plethora of mysteries tied up with a bow of apathy and affection. He's seen the way he watches Aang. It's pure affection, but there's something darker lingering there that Zuko knows not to seek out. It dangerous.

He didn't really know what to say about Azul and Aang. What could he say? He could yell about honour and shame and forcing a thirteen year old into a political marriage but where would that get him? Azul's cool stare and a simple remark that gives nothing away. Aang didn't seem unhappy though. She seemed fine. Happy even. He remembered the throne room and seeing someone that he thought of as his sister coiled around his brother. The brother who had been chasing them across miles and miles of land before finally capturing Ba Sing Se and securing the Avatar's death in one fell swoop. The consummation part of it still makes him shiver sometimes. Aang is already sixteen granted but it's still... it's still a step too far.

His brother hadn't offered him anything that day in the catacombs under the palace in Ba Sing Se. It was odd because part of him expected Azul to say something along the lines of "Come back to the fire-nation Zuko" but it never came. So he just followed Katara and ran for his life.

He wonders sometimes if his brother knew what was going to happen and was doing him a favor.

On the day of black sun with Aang gone they had been frantic. Katara just kept crying and saying things like "If only..." or "We could've" or "We should've". No one had answered but he knew what they were thinking. The war was over. But Zuko couldn't help but notice the glint in Azul's eyes as he fought them (he was intimidating even without his bending). He knew something they didn't and now Zuko knows what it is. Azul has a plan. Azul always has a plan.

Azul always had a plan.

They had spent their days hiding and running and planning for nothing. They knew the chances of getting Aang out were slim to none. But still they tried, at least to prove to themselves that they weren't leaving her.

Then Mai and Ty lee had shown up. And they seemed to only confirm what Zuko knew. Azul had a plan.

It must've been a good one.

He's watching Azul right now. He's holding court and as people come forward to speak he notices the way every so often Azul's eyes will drift to the door. Zuko and the others haven't spoken to him after their conversation outside their chambers where Azul had bluntly stated that something happened to Aang. Something bad.

They had stood outside that door for ages Waiting and listening but they couldn't hear anything. Eventually Sokka had mutter a low "We should go." but a near hysterical Katara had cut him down.

"No! What if he's hurting her we have to- we have- we have to find out-" She had collapsed into sobs at this point and when they asked if Toph could "see" anything she had just shrugged. "There's some sort of barrier. Probably metal and I can only make out shapes..." She had shifted her foot, "Nope, can't tell if it's furniture or..."

Zuko had nodded at this point, "Right. I think I should go in."

The others were too far gone by this point to realise that this was a bad idea. It was illegal and an invasion of their friend's privacy but they weren't really thinking about the moral high-ground. Even Ty lee and Mai were silent. Ty lee chewing her lip and shooting worried glances at Mai every few minutes. Sometimes Zuko wondered how they became friends with Azul in the first place but those times were few and far between and he'd never been bothered to ask.

Part of him knew he was only going in for selfish reasons. Aang and Azul were a particularly worrying enigma and Zuko just wanted to know. Wanted an insight into whatever they were. The slight tinge of something similar to guilt smothered him as he crept through the doors and paused outside their bedroom. The door was partially open and in the flickering shadows of a candle he could see Aang. She was crying, he could hear that at least and she was sitting on Azul? No. His blood ran cold as he realised what he was witnessing. Aang was straddling Azul, crying and finally what she was saying starting to reach him.

"I belong to you." She's sobbing as she rides him, "I belong to you. I'm all yours. Everything of mine is yours."

The words give him pause. They're so... submissive. He begins to feel worried for Aang. What is this relationship really like?

Then he starts to hear what she's now saying and all his previous assumptions and prejudices about them are shattered.

"You belong to me too. You're all mine. You're the only one who gets to touch me here," He can see the shadows as she brings up his hand to touch her breast, "And here." She moves the hand lower.

"You're the only one who's allowed to kiss my neck or whisper into my hair or rest your head on my shoulder or play with my fingers." He hears the thick wound of her swallowing, "And I'm the only one who gets to touch you. I'm the only one who's allowed to do this." Her shadow reaches forward to kiss him softly. "Or this." She moves her lips to his neck.

Oh agni. Oh _agni_. This is everything. This is love.

Zuko suddenly feels dirty, he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be watching. Oh Agni, gods. What has he seen?

So Zuko spins on his heel and makes a run for it. When the others ask what he saw he just shrugs and mutters something about her crying.

Only Mai looks at him with a sense of confusion. She can always tell if he's lying. Even if Toph can't.

Azul and Aang are nothing. They are everything. Words can't explain what he saw, the expression in Aang's voice. The tender touches. Angi agni _angi_.

So Zuko shuts it out and doesn't think about it too much. Aang is safe and that's good enough for now. That's good enough forever.

* * *

Azul's been watching the door for the past thirteen seconds. It's a record, Mai notes dryly to herself as she sits in the gallery observing the court proceedings. The chair next to his is empty and it's no wonder Aang isn't here if what Azul said yesterday was true.

Azul glances back at the man seeking his help quickly before turning his gaze back to the door. It's no secret of who he wants to walk through.

Mai leisurely reaches inside her sleeve for a knife to play with. She twirls the blade through her fingers and smiles at the familiarity of the action. It's become an almost coping mechanism for her. The familiar weight of the metal in her palm. Metal doesn't yield. Metal is firm. It's stable.

And the sharp nicks she sometimes gets only remind her she's alive.

Watching Azul now; this is the closest to lost she has ever seen him. And will probably ever see him. His constant glancing at the door (which no one notices anyway), coupled with his finger drumming and foot tapping show this is the most agitated Azul had probably ever been. Mai can't recall a time when Azul hasn't been in control. When he hasn't had a plan, hasn't had a way out. The man is an expert on back doors.

"No way to back himself out of this one though." Mai thought to herself as she caught the half-crazed look in Azul's eye, "He's in too deep."

Though of course no normal person would be able to tell that just by looking at him. Mai had known him for years, had watched him grow up and fight and sleep and eat and talk. He had never let his guard down before. Unless you counted the time when he came running to her and Ty lee, sprinting across the gardens to find them and told them in no uncertain terms that they had to flee. That had been a defining moment. This hair was windswept, his cheeks were flushed and his words were to the point. Go, get out, I've got a plan but you have to leave. Go to Zuko.

He had then spun on his heel and walked off leaving her and Ty lee to their confusion. But they knew Azul and they knew that if he was that rattled it must mean something bad. So they ran. Found Zuko and here they are now.

Mai can still remember the way Ty lee had turned to her, astonished and ecstatic once they had settled in with the Avatar.

"He cared." Was all she needed to say because it was the truth. He cared about them. But his heart was almost full to the brim now, Mai thought as she watched him, he's got almost no room for anyone else.

She remembered the day they had met. Mai and Ty lee already knew each other. Like all good noblemen's daughters of the same age they had been dragged off to the same functions for years and just seemed to.. get each other. Mai understood how hard it was for Ty lee; how attention starved she was. And Ty lee understood what it was like for Mai; how stifled she was.

They became friends. Standing together at parties and balls. Talking about nothing.

Ty lee was Mai's first friend.

Azul was her second.

It was a royal ball. A big fancy affair. Everyone had been invited and as usual Ty lee and Mai had immediately sought each other out. It had almost become a game. "How quickly can I find you?"

They had retreated to a secluded corner of the party where Ty lee had immediately started to talk. "And there was this boy and..." Mai didn't tune her out exactly but her focus was directed to Crown Prince Zuko, striding through the ball. Head held high; aristocratic features as handsome as usual. She had blushed before she knew what she was doing.

It was then that he appeared. Smirk in place, plans as usual.

They had begun to meet at more and more parties until they were definitely friends. When Mai threw a knife at him after a comment about Zuko he hadn't been angry. He's just grinned and told her her aim was better. The same with Ty lee and her acrobatics. Azul wanted them to teach him but didn't seem overly fussed when they were better.

Strange behavior for a royal.

But she saw how he avoided his father, courted the servants, joked with the guards, ran from his mother... He was the very opposite of a normal royal. He was all Azul.

When he'd come to see them for the Avatar quest something had glinted dangerously in his eyes. Mai didn't comment and Ty lee didn't care.

The gang was back together again.

She resumed watching the court scene with renewed interest as the doors opened.

* * *

Ty lee loves Azul. Not like _that_. Though she did have a crush on him back when they were kids. She gave that up quickly enough though. She liked him because he was nice and funny and never made fun of her. He was calm and in control and the complete opposite of bubbly Ty lee. But he'd always remember her birthday and get her a chocolate tart; or a fruit one depending on her mood. Azul hadn't looked like he really could _love _anyone though; so she'd given up. Ty lee was attention starved and needed as much love as she could get. If Azul didn;t have the capacity to love her then she couldn't love him. She had and always will love him as a friends though. She may not love him like _that _anymore, but she loves him enough to know when he's hurting and now he's most definitely hurting. She pouts slightly at the thought of her friend in pain. She loves Azul. He's one of her best friends. Plus he kind, and funny, and cares. That's the one thing Ty lee can't let go of. He cares.

He _cares. _

Sometimes just thinking it can make her deliriously happy. Ty lee's always loved Azul. Every since he first came up to talk to them all those years ago. He had smirked at Mai and asked if she liked what she saw; motioning to Zuko. Mai had flushed and muttered something under her breath and Ty lee decided right then and there that she liked him.

They didn't know why out of _everyone _at that party he'd chosen them and Azul had never told them. Ty lee honestly had no idea why but she loved him for it. They didn't see each other very much because he was schooled by tutors in the palace and they went to the Royal Fire Academy for girls. But they always met up during the holidays. Sometimes they went to the markets and haggled with the stall owners. She was always surprised at how good natured he was. The shop people never knew he was a Prince and he haggled like anyone else. He never brought up his status to try and intimidate his way to lower prices. Ty lee wonders if that's one of the reasons she loves him.

They had gone to Emeber Island with him some years. Zuko just moped on his own (or with Mai), Ozai rarely came and Ursa seemed to stay with Zuko. So it was mostly her and Azul. They would swim in the sea or build sand castles on the beach or point out constellations at night. They would do all the best friend things. She can still remember the one time Azul had _smiled. _Not a smirk, not a twitch of the lips but an honest smile. They had been trying to swim out to a distant rock for the past week but there was a particularly vicious current that swept them back to the beach everytime they got close. Mai was away with Zuko so Ty lee and Azul were left to puzzle it out. When Azul had gotten the idea he hadn't even explained it to her. Just grabbed her hand and dragged her to help him find a good piece of driftwood.

His plan was ingenious for a ten year old. They would hang onto the driftwood and he would propel them forwards using his fire-bending. It was like a mini-boat! Ty lee remembers being shocked with the strength of his flames. With the blue colour. When they had reached the rock and pulled themselves up grinning and hight-fiving in victory she had caught the smile on his face and decided that she loved him.

She gave up that kind of love but there would always be a special place in her heart for him.

They didn't know he was a Prince until the third party. Their third meeting. And that was only when a passing servant had addressed him as "your highness". It was a shock. He was way to nice to be a prince! He was so informal... Ty lee was shocked but at least his status convinced her and Mai's parents to let them go over to the palace to visit sometimes.

Their childhood years had passed in a blur of parties and hide and seek in the gardens. Fire-bending and knife throwing and acrobatics and chi-blocking. They had talked and slept over (no one could say no the the prince) and helped Mai stalk Zuko and pulled pranks. Ty lee wasn't stupid though. She just didn't like thinking sometimes. So she didn't think. She didn't think about the way Azul never talked to his parents. She didn't think about Zuko's banishment. She didn't think when she ran away to the circus.

Besides, Azul always had a plan. She could always count on him to fix everything. It's what he did.

He _cared._

* * *

Suki didn't know Azul at all. Ty lee talked about him a lot though so she picked a few things up. She and Ty had become quite close. Sometimes her, Mai and Ty lee would spar together. She respected them as warriors. To some extent she respected Azul too. He had fought her and her warriors and thrown them in prison but he didn't taunt while fighting. He didn't boast after capturing them and he never touched them once they were captured. She was worried when the three of them managed to defeat all her worriers. She knew that. She knew she was worried when she saw he was a _man. _Men weren't nice to prisoners. Men could hurt and scar and do things that women just couldn't.

Men had a special way of breaking women.

Suki had been scared. Suki had been terrified. Then Suki had just been confused. Azul hadn't touched them. Hadn't even properly looked at them. He'd just ordered Ty lee and Mai to take their weapons and armour before walking away.

While they stripped them Mai had been silent. But Ty lee had babbled away. Talking about boys, the circus, this bear the earth king apparently had... on and on and on until Suki had broken. She had blurted out, "What do you plan to do with us?"

It was then that Azul had magically appeared again. It wasn't as though they were improperly dressed, the warriors all wore another layer under the distinctive armor, but Azul didn't seem to want to look at them properly. He didn't leer or try and cop a feel. The way he's regarden the restrained girls was almost asexual.

"You'll go to prison." Azul had answered shortly, "I'll see to it that you be treated like normal prisoners."

He had turned on his heel and left.

In prison they weren't separated which was odd. It wasn't like they would be able to escape anyway but still... The thing that had really caught Suki's eye was that all their guards were female. The ones outside their cells. The ones that escorted them to meals.

It was strangely comforting.

She'd never thought to ask Azul about it. Partly because of the way he _was. _

Sometimes it made Suki wonder how much people like her actually mattered to him. She was like a harmless fly. Shove it out of the way and keep going. No ill will towards her but no care either. She just didn't matter.

That sometimes irked her. They were Kyoshi warriors for god's sakes! They mattered! But they didn't, not really in Azul's master plan. They were just more people.

They had been freed on the day of Black sun when Toph had blown up the prison. They were on fighting form but the fight was over before long. Aang was gone.

She had cried with Sokka then and laughed when they heard the war was over.

But Suki didn't matter in the big picture. She knew she didn't. She was part of "team Avatar" but she was no more then a pawn in Azul's grand scheme. She was inconsequential.

But the female guards...

She wasn't sure what she thought about Aang and Azul though. She loved Aang like a sister. But Azul? Aang was only thirteen when they married! Sometimes it made Suki unfathomably angry. Did he have any honour for spirits sake? Aang had been his prisoner then. Who knew what he could have been doing to her (But the female guards.) She took a deep calming breath and watched the doors swing open. Aang was like her sister. She was sweet and funny and always on hand to talk and help. She deserved the best. Was Azul the best? Were they really meant to be together?

But as she watched Aang jump in through the door and take her place by Azul's side maybe it shouldn't really bother her. Who was Suki to judge? No one. She had fallen in love with a boy she barely knew.

And as Aang whispered something to Azul that made him grin she realised that she was happy. For them. Suki was happy for Aang and Azul.

She vowed that she would try and talk to him some time. She would talk to him and ask him about the female guards.

Suki may be small but she'll still a puzzle piece and she's got to fit in somewhere.

* * *

Sokka's not narrow-minded. Nope, not this elite warrior. He has no issue. No issue whatsoever with Aang being married.

None.

Nada.

Zilch.

Okay, maybe it does feel kinda gunky to him.

Aang's just so _young. _

She isn't, not really. She's like a hundred and sixteen now and she's saved the world and stuff. But she'll always be the little girl in the ice-berg to him. She rode the unagi and chased insects and ran around until she fell over. She had convinced Katara to go penguin sledging and had been most proud of floating a few marbles. She was (no, is) so _young_.

And Azul is creepy. Okay, maybe not creepy. But he is a bit weird. He's always so calm. That just can't be good for a man. And he married a thirteen year old! He's obviously a pedophile! He's probabaly forcing her to do some weird shit. Aang can't be happy; and yet...

He's watching her reach for Azul's hand and lace their fingers together. There's a sort of gentle loving element to the gesture that makes him pause. It makes him think a little about Suki. About how they hold hands and laugh together. How he'll feed her strawberries or she'll toss them at him to catch with his mouth.

It still makes him slightly sick to to think of the two of them... doing stuff. It's gross! Aang's smiling at Azul now and it makes her whole face light up... He doesn't know what to think about Azul sometimes. He's fire nation! But then again Zuko's fire nation, and so is Mai and Ty lee and they're okay. Azul was chasing them though. But so did Zuko...

Sokka hates double standards so he decides to just let things be. Aang looks happy enough but if he hurts her...

God, he will rip that bastard to pieces.

Toph's the relectant secret keeper. She hears all the gossip that no one else does. It comes from being able to "see" through walls and the like.

She can "see" how Aang's heartbeat relaxes whenever Azul walks into a room.

She can "see" how Azul's heartbeat and breathing are irregular and ragged all through the court session. She can "see" the way his attention is more on the door than the speaker. She can "see" the way Azul taps his foot as though he wants to jump up at any moment.

Penny for your thoughts?

It's obvious who he's thinking about. So when the door flies open and Aang sails through; looking to all the world like the calm and serene master of the elements she is Toph just watches. She's curious. They all are. They're all curious about Aang and whether or not she's okay. After what Azul said they had all feared the worst...

But she's fine and her heartbeat don't say any different.

Toph leans back and listens as Azul's heart slowly quietens 'til it's at the Prince'd normal sixty beats per minute. It's actually quite low but she supposes it suits Azul. It's calm and not in the least rushed.

Toph wonders to herself if she's the only one who notices things like that.

Like just how much Azul really cares for his heart to have been yo-yoing from a hundred and ten to a hundred and eighty beats per minute for two hours until Aang had walked in.

He should have had a heart attack.

But that's love apparently. And no one can argue to Toph that Azul doesn't care.

So she approves.

* * *

Katara sometimes catches herself thinking about Aang like her daughter. Or her beloved little sister.

She loves her like family.

She doesn't know what to think of Azul though. Her first reaction to the marriage news was to run to him and ask him what the hell he was thinking. Starting a relationship with a thirteen year old girl. She was furious. Absolutely fuming. How dare he! Who did he think he was?

But as the anger cooled and she watched the two of them she began to see that maybe it wasn't so wrong. Maybe it was actually okay. Azul was always sweet and gentlemanly. He held open doors and pulled out chairs and helped her out of palanquins and _gods_ he was the perfect husband wasn't he?

She watched as she squeezes his hand and he squeezes back. It's like their own special secret language. It's like they can read each other's thoughts or something.

Katara loves Aang and if Azul made Aang happy she could live with that. She could swallow all her emotions and live with that.

She loved Aang too much.

* * *

Aang watched Azul conduct court. He was like a magician, instantly making people like him all the while solving their problems. Casting spells on them.

She smiled at him as they eyes locked briefly and he smiled back.

She knew he was worried but it was fine. She could deal with her demons.

She had spent the morning meditating and working out her own jumbled thoughts. She sent a prayer to the men that had died. The ones she had killed.

Then she had sent out a prayer. A prayer to every woman who had ever been hurt like she had.

She wasn't naïve enough to think that there weren't others. She hoped and wished and begged the universe to tell her that there weren't but there were.

There were and she hated that. And Aang didn't hate lightly.

She couldn't make a vow to never let it happen ever to anyone ever again because how could she? She couldn't. The world was too big for one girl to try and patrol. It was too much for just one Avatar.

But she would try her best. She would try and best because _damnit_ that's what she has to give.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: This is quite a saucy chapter so be warned! We're looking further into their sex life this week and it might get slightly messy... Let's go!**

Sex is strange to them. It's not that they don't engage in the carnal pleasure. But sex holds a different meaning to them. It represents trust. It represents healing. It represents _love._

They've only partaken in the more physical side of their relationship twice.

The first was the night Aang turned sixteen. Azul promised himself he would wait and he did. It represented his self-control. He gave her pleasure before taking his own. It represented care. He told her he loved her. What more can be said? The first time was more for Azul than Aang. He wanted a way to show her. To show her everything. To show her he loved her. She already knew of course, but the words hadn't been said. People say that actions speak louder than words; but when she _told_ him she loved him it had meant more to him than being inside her. She was a virgin and the fact that she would give that to him (not that she really had a choice; there were married after all) showed trust. The fact that he had allowed her to see him like that. Weak, vulnerable, not in control showed his own trust in her. When he came apart his fired spewed from his mouth in a torrent. Like a tsunami, like a force of nature. Wild and uncontrollable. If there was anything that Azul was not it was wild. He was always in control. Sex that night was also for his own selfish reasons. He wanted her. He already knew he had her but he still wanted more. Selfish little boy. He wanted everything she could give him. He wanted the whole of her; heart, soul and body. It's strange to think he managed to capture the first two without the third. That;s not how things usually work is it? Azul doesn't care. He has her. She's all his. It makes him pleased to know that no one's ever seen her before. Ever seen the way her nipples peak and flush after being sucked. Ever seen the way she cries when she comes. It's not a torrent of tears, more like a a few unconscious drops of salt water. He's the only person (man or woman) who's ever seen her like that and ever will. He loves her. He knows that. She knows that. And while he likes showing her he likes telling her even more.

The second time was after the situation with the bandits in the Earth Kingdom. That had been healing. More for Aang than Azul. It was right like that. Give and take. Push and pull. Like the tides, like Tui and La. She'd done it for herself and partly for him. But mostly for herself. She'd done it to prove that they still had each other. And she'd done it to show him how much of her was still his. It had empowered her, as she rode the Fire Lord, to know that she had this strong, confident, self-assured, in control man beneath her. That she was the only one who could touch him. That he was the only one who could touch her. She'd done it to show him she belonged to him. She'd done it to show herself that even after everything she'd done he still belonged to her. Selfish reasons. Selfish little girl. But not one that she cared about. Not one that he cared about either. He had let her be selfish that night just as she let him take on his night. Give and take, push and pull. They were perfect together. From the graceful thrust parried with the lunge. From the way her breasts molded to his hands. From the way his head fit against her shoulder. The poetic tangle of tongues. The beautiful post-orgasmic flush on her cheeks. They were perfect.

Sometimes Aang likes to sit alone and think. During those times she pretends she meditating (not really pretending to be honest, just nobody ever asks) and simply sits and thinks. She's thinking today though this topic is slightly more conflicting than usual. She's thinking about Azul. Not that it's uncommon for her to think about him. In fact he's probably her most over-thought topic. She's decided that she really does love him. There wasn't much confusion over that before but there was always the element that he was her first. There was always the lingering worry that since he saved her from the dungeons she would feel indebted and that would lead to a pseudo "stockholm-syndrom" situation. It's isn't entirely ridiculous of course; in fact it's quite plausible if you examine the facts.

He was the first man she'd ever been intimate with; in any way. She had nothing to compare the feelings she had for him with and therefore she may not actually be feeling love at all. But what does she know?

Aang does know that she thinks with her heart, not her head. She doesn't think with her head and therefore is allowing her emotions to get free-reign as far as Azul is concerned. She feels happy when she's around him and calm when wrapped in his arms. He always listens when she talks and she feels like listening whenever he opens his mouth. They mesh well and she thinks it may be love.

All the time spent together does result in other things though. She thinks she may have rubbed off onto him a little. He's more spontaneous. Playful Azul comes out more and she thinks she may have changed him for the actor playing warm to warm. No one else can tell the difference but she can. She can and she's proud.

But he's rubbed off onto her too. It's a slow corruption and it works both ways in the strangest way possible. She gives him good and he gives her bad. No, not bad. It's not bad. It's just... harsher. He's made her harsher, less naïve, more willing to use violence. The change is small but at the same time huge. She's hardly different in some ways. She still smiles when happy. Laughs when amused. Cries when sad. Yells when angry. She's still the same Aang. She still looks like innocence embodied. But anyone can _look _innocent. Azul does sometimes. Aang isn't the same. She's a reluctant cynic. She thinks twice before talking to people.

Or does she?

She's killed. She's hurt. She's gone numb. She's fought. She's blamed.

The scary thing is she knows that if anyone hurt Azul she would hurt them. She would hurt them badly. She would fight for her other friends of course. They were her family. But would she maim and torture and kill for them? She doesn't actually know.

But she knows she would do it for Azul.

Corruption is a slow measured game.

The market was bustling. There were shouts in the air as people bought and sold their wares, haggled aggressively and talked to their companions. Aang was currently alone. She had a rare day off today. Azul was busy talking to a Water tribe diplomat so she had a rare day to herself. She breathed in the market atmosphere and the sweet spring air. She smiled happily to herself; she loved market day. It was a shame she couldn't come more often but she was always busy nowadays.

Her fringe and long sleeved top and gloves hid her tattoo. She was dressed in an outfit Ty lee had sent her (bar the midriff revealing top, it would show her arrow). It pants were loose and baggy but somehow flattering and the top was rather tight around the chest. Aang shook her head to herself; Ty really was something else. That girl was always sending Aang clothes and to be honest Aang trusted her decisions more than her own so she wore what she was sent without question. She'd been wandering for an hour and was getting a little thirsty so she headed for a cafe to get some tea. It wouldn't measure up to Iroh's brews but it would do.

Aang sits back in her chair, allowing the the sunlight to splay over her face. She sighs contentedly.

"May I join you?"

The voice is deep and undoubtably male.

The male himself isn't that bad to look at though Aang doesn't really notice things like that. She'd actually thinking about Azul. She wonders when he'll finish up his meeting. Maybe she can coax him outside. He's always loved going out and they occasionally get the chance. Sometimes he'll even take her dancing. And sometimes she'll take him swimming. Maybe later today...

That's when she register that the man is still waiting for an answer.

"Of course." Aang replies. It's always nice when people are friendly and willing to talk to strangers. It gives her a special glowy feeling inside. It means that the world is slowly healing from the war.

"Thanks," says the man as he sits, a pause and then, "Do you come here often?"

Aang laughs her musical laugh, "No, I'm usually too busy but I love coming down on market day."

She smiles at him and the man smiles back.

Soon they're engaged in random chit chat, just talking about nothing. Aang's happy, the tea's better than she thought it would be, the sun'd bright and the man's nice. Only there's something niggling at her; though she can;t put her finger on it...

Until he leans over and presses his lips against hers. She can hardly call it a kiss. Kisses are reserved for Azul. Her lips belong to Azul as his do to hers. Oh gods. _Spirits. _This man is still kissing her. She quickly shoves him off her.

"What are you doing?" She asks, her voice is slightly panicky. Oh Gods how do I tell Azul? Can I even tell him?

"Kissing you." the man answers looking confused. It's that word again. Kissing. It's too intimate to describe what just happened. Kissing is for Aang and Azul. Not Aang and random man.

"I'm married." Aang tells him. She feels slightly guilty, was she leading him on? He didn't know she was married... Well now he does.

"But you're so young." The man says, he sounds stricken for some reason.

Then suddenly his lips are on hers again.

"But I'm married! I told him!" Aang thinks wildly to herself as she attempts to shove him off her. He's just too strong though and soon her thoughts dissolve into panic. Oh gods can anyone _see_ them right now? It's in public!

Aang feels mortification set on. She's married! Happily married to Azul. What is this man doing? Should she bend? What is she going to do? Oh _Azul._

Suddenly he's wrenched off her. The man falls to the ground and a voice she knows all too well growls.

"That's my _wife_. Stay away from her."

Aang doesn't think she's ever heard him so furious.

She's almost scared of him.

The man barely nods before scrambling away.

Then Azul turns to Aang. His eyes are dark and there's that danger in them. This isn't even ruthless Azul. This is something else. This is worst then when the general tried to kill her. This is _blackness. _There's something in it that almost makes her shiver. Is it fear? No. It can't be fear. This is Azul. She doesn't feel fear around Azul. Never has and never will feel fear around him.

But she she can't look him in the eye.

"Let's go." The words are senseless snarls before he grabs her arm and drags her away. Back to the palace.

* * *

He watches her as she sits on the bed. She's fiddling with her hair, a lot like she did when he took her out of her cell. His heart pangs at the sight. He's holding onto his anger though. It's sharpening his mind. He doesn't want to think. Doesn't want to feel. Emotions are weak. Emotions are for losers. That's the only piece of advice his father ever gave him. The only and most important piece. So he swallows away the pain _oh gods it hurt so much _and tries not to think about the other man. To think about Aang.

"Why?" He snarls. He looks over at her and she drops the hair. It's masochistic and stupid to try and find out the details of the little affair but he wants to know. He needs to know. Is that so wrong? Seeing that man with his mouth... don't think. Just don't think.

She frowns at him; eyebrows pushing together adorably. Beautifully. But how can he think she's beautiful? She just destroyed him. "Why what?" She asks.

Does she not _know? _How can she not tell?

"You were kissing another man." He says. Striding closer until they're knee to knee.

She lowers her eyes at that. "I'm sorry." She whispers, "I didn't want to but we were talking and I though it was so nice that people can be friendly then suddenly he grabbed me and kissed me but I told him I was married but that didn't stop him and he just kissed me again and- mph!"

Azul's lips are on hers before she can finish. Azul is reeling. She's not leaving. She never left. She's still his.

She still belongs to him.

When he speaks his words are ragged. "You belong to me. Your lips belong to me. Only I can kiss them."

She nods and smiles. Eyes shining prettily. "Love you." She whispers. She reaches up to press her forehead against his.

He loves her so much. He loves her enough to have let her close enough to hurt him. She hurt him. She hurt him so badly and she'll never find out just how badly. The _pain. _Of seeing someone touching her. Someone's hands on her face and lips on hers. There was something about her being touched that way that stirred the long buried primal instincts within him. Azul thought. He always had a plan. He didn't rush into situations. And yet he had barely seen the scene, hadn't even assessed the danger before diving in and grabbing the man. He had touched what was his.

And Aang... Trust isn't easy to find from Azul. All his reserves are used up on Aang. He doesn;t trust. But he trusted her.

And she had betrayed him.

Only she hadn't.

And now he's broken and doesn't know why.

He needs to fix this. Fix himself. Gods gods gods.

"I want to fuck you."

His voice is sharp and cuts through the air like a whip.

Azul hardly ever swears. Profanity is unbecoming of a Prince and now a King. So Aang can just look up at him in confusion. Why did he specifically say fuck? She knows what the words mean but why now "love you" or "have sex"?

He seems to be hastily trying to explain.

"It won't be nice or pretty and you can say right now if you don't want to but-"

This time it's her that cuts him off with her lips.

"Okay." She's smiling at him. "Okay."

She barely gets that word out before his lips are on hers again. He pushes her back, hard, onto the bed and continues his assault on her mouth. He's plundering, not just taking. He's ripping.

He rips her clothes off her. Tearing the top Ty lee sent her.

"Take off your bindings." He orders and she does as he commands.

Aang's hands feel shaky. His gaze is penetrating. It's like he's looking into her, seeing past her bones and muscles and tissue. Right into her spirit. Right down deep into the ugly black stains on her soul.

She slowly unwinds the binding but apparently she's being too slow because he reaches forward with a snarl and rips the last of them off. They tear down the seam and she barely has a moment to watch them drift down to the bed like autumn leaves before he's on her. He's like an animal and as her sucks and bites and rubs it's like a strange mix of pleasure and pain that Aang's never experienced before and can't quite decipher. How can pain make her feel excited and aroused? It doesn't work like that.

Soon he's ripping the trousers too.

Then she's naked. She'd completely exposed in front of him and he's fully clothed. The situation should makes her feel uncomfortable, his obvious superiority should make her uncomfortable but it doesn't. Because this is Azul and she's never felt uncomfortable in front of him. And she understands.

"Stand up." His voice is a command. It's the same voice that he uses with his soldiers. Steely and controlled and authoritative.

She does as he asks. He body entirely for his viewing pleasure. It could have been embarrassing once but it isn't any more. It isn't because she's seen him and he's seen her. He know ever crevice and lip and valley and curve of her body. There isn't a singly secret her flesh hides from him. He may have only examined her twice but he's washed her and hugged her and talked to her and they've swan naked in the sea and rolled on the sand and gone dancing in the night where he dips her low. There's nothing about her he doesn't know.

And she thinks she knows him as well.

This is like her after the bandits. Crying and screaming as she took the control from his hands.

"Bend over." His voice is still a command and she's does as he asks without question. She leans over their bed. Her breasts crushed against the sheets. His hand in fisted in her hair. Pressing her down. He's not being gentle and the tugging hurts somewhat but this is them and this is real. She doesn't mind. There's no warning. No declaration of love before he plunges into her from behind. But that's okay because, to her, the action itself is a declaration of love. He's taking and she's giving. Tui and La. Push and pull. He doesn't give her time to try and accommodate before he's in her again. And again. And again. He's pounding into her and she's never been on the receiving end of something this carnal. This animal.

"You're mine," He's snarling out the words, "All this is mine." He scrabbles at her hair and jerks her head back, "You belong to me and I belong to you."

He releases her hair and lets her head fall. Her brains clouding with the waves of pleasure. Oh gods. Oh _agni._

He comes first, it's with a roar and the feeling of him emptying into her (the warmth) makes her gasp and follow him with a moan.

When he's done he draws out of her and drags her onto the bed to lie next to him.

"Gods I love you." He whispers, peppering her face with kisses. "When I saw that man.. touching you. Kissing you something in me broke."

"I'm sorry." Whispers Aang, "He was stronger than me and I-"

He silences her by kissing her lips.

"It doesn't matter. We belong to each other and I love you."

Aang simply smiles, face playful as she answers, "More."

He laughs and rolls her onto her back so he can kiss her some more.

She belongs to him. He's staked his claim. No one should ever touch her. Never kiss her. Never even look at her.

Azul's been placated. But the darkness feeds off the _pain _he felt as it burrows even deeper into his subconcious.

* * *

She's sick. She's sick of all the meetings. Of all the people asking her. Begging her for advice. They think she has all the answers. She doesn't. She _doesn't. _They're putting so much stock into a girl who isn't even out of her teens yet. All the responsibility. She had too much control. She can't do this. She can't do this. It's crushing her. All these people look up to her. Think she knows all the answers.

Can't they see that she has even less of an idea than they do? She's so clueless. She doesn't _know _what to do. She doesn't know anything. She's been stumbling through all this blind and alone. Don't they see all her failures? When she ran away? When she was captured on the day of black sun? Don't they see all her shortcomings? The fact that she isn't worthy of their adoration? She didn't even end the war. She ran away when the world needed her the most then she got herself captured. She's never told anyone because it makes her feel ashamed. She's never even thought it to herself; but now it's spilling free.

_She could have stopped Ozai. _

She had a clear window to him on the day of black sun. He was in the throne room. Seated casually as if eclipses where the Avatar attacks were a routine occurrence. She could have killed him the; she could have stopped him. She had the elements at her fingertips. A flick of a wrist and she could have drowned him. A stamp of a foot and she could have crushed him between two rocks. A deep breath in and she could have sucked all the air out of the room and he would have suffocated.

She could have stopped him. She could have ended it right there.

But she didn't. She was too much of a coward.

She had hesitated. Hesitated for too long. The seconds had stretched as wide as Ozai's smile.

"Too weak to stop me Avatar?" His voice was a sneering laugh and she could do nothing but agree. She had put her morals above the safety of the entire world. She couldn't kill Ozai where he sat because she didn't like the idea of killing a man who couldn't even defend himself.

She was too selfish to sacrifice her morals for the good of the world.

And it disgusts her.

How can these people even look at her? Let alone ask her for advice. How is it possible to admire such a stupid, selfish little girl.

There are somethings she's never said out loud. Not even to Azul. Not even to Appa. Not even to herself. Not even to the wind.

But she thinks them.

Sometimes in her cell after being captured she almost wished for torture. She wanted someone to punish her for her sins. For being so _selfish. _She would never say it out loud because people would deny it. Everyone would deny it. Katara would hug her and Sokka would say it wasn't true. Toph would punch her arm and laugh at the notion. Zuko would spout something about honour and acceptance and his journey. Suki would simply smile and say something along the lines of "Really Aang? You're the most unselfish person I know." Ty lee would just blink slowly at her and cock her head in confusion. Mai would probably raise and eyebrow and not comment.

And Azul...

She doesn't know what Azul would do. She would tell him everything; has told him almost everything. He's seen her at her best and worst. But she can't tell him this. Can't tell him the full depth of her failure and shame. This is one of the stains on her soul. One of the things that she's never paid penance for. Her running away and being frozen all that time ago she can reason with. Because that happened her people died. In a sick twisted way she can say that the death of her people was a punishment for her cowardice. In a sick way that doesn't bother her as much anymore.

But this. This selfishness has never seen it's purgatory. This selfishness hasn't been paid for.

Instead of pain she received Azul.

And Azul is the best thing she's ever had.

Sometimes she wishes it would just happen. The inevitable punishment would simply jump out at her and it would be over and done with. Karma doesn't have a deadline and what goes around comes around. She isn't allowed to forsake the world and receive Azul in exchange.

She's running down the corridors, passing surprised people along the way, as she attempts to get away. She doesn't even know what she's running from. From responsibility? She can't do that. She isn't allowed to do that. See; there it is again. The _selfishness. _But the truth is Aang isn't ready to face her sins yet and consequently she's selfish yet again and buries them deep.

But she is running from responisbility and when she finds herself in her and Azul's personal chambers she knows that this is the only place she's ever felt really safe. It's not fair. It's not fair that after all the wrong she's done she gets Azul. She gets Azul and the love and respect and unwavering trust of all these people. They don;t know what she's done. They don't know how _bad _she is. How completely worthless she is. She just doesn't want any control. She doesn't want to have to do anything. She doesn't want any responsibilities. She doesn't want people to ask her. She wants to control taken out of her hands.

She's going to be selfish again.

* * *

Meetings were long and brutal today. The reparations are almost done. The Fire nation has almost completed all their duties. Except that the earth kingdom and water tribe want more.

Well they can't have it. The fire nation had paid their bit; the signed papers prove it and there's no way Azul is ever going to consider raising taxes. He scowls to himself as he enters the bedroom. The Fire Nation people won't be allowed to grovel for the rest of their lives for the mistakes of their forefathers. Azul wanted to make the Fire Nation strong again and that's what he's been doing. He improved relations and trade routes. He's built up what was left of the reputation of his nation that Ozai and Sozin and Azulon had razed to the ground. He's done all the can do but the lack of control is tough. The other nations are still distrustful and they talk together and discuss things without the Fire Nation present. They don't like the Fire Nation. On some level Azul can't blame them but this. This is enough. Sometimes he feels like control is slipping through his finger and soon the Fire Nation will be at war again and he won't be able to do a damn thing to stop it.

When he sees Aang sitting at the end of the bed it's not that big a surprise. She's had audiences with people who seek her help all day so she's probably tired. He walks over and gives her a quick kiss. Nothing more than a simple chaste peck and it's the kiss of a married couple. One where the passion hasn't waned but comfort is present. They feel comfortable with one another and it means that taking each other's bodies isn't the only way to show love for them.

"How was your day?" He asks as he turns around to make some tea. It's jasmine for him and chamomile for her. He tries to keep it simple during the night. He adds a slight dash of syrup to hers'. It sweetens it and as far as Aang is concerned the sweeter the better. He also guesses that today was hard for her to. She's always gets quiet when she greeted by adoring citizens. He always wonders if it's guilt. He knows people; he doesn't doesn't liking reading her though. He prefers her to give herself willingly to him. It's a strange complex he has. Azul doesn't like examining it too closely because thinking about his own psyche too much scares him. He's the only things that he truly fears. Himself and Aang. He is scared of Aang not for what she can do but for what she can do to _him. _She can make him loose control which is dangerous. She's is dangerous.

But he is too. And he scares himself sometimes.

So he doesn't think about why he would prefer Aang to spread her legs for him rather than him nudge them apart.

It's stupid but it's enough to scare him.

"Good." Aang mumbles an answer to his question. Then she decides to drop the bomb.

"Azul." He can hear her come up behind him. He would be able to recognise her footsteps even in a room full of people. They're light and airy. She seems to float; barely ever touching the ground.

An angel indeed.

He turns around with a smile; it's not an Azul smirk. It's a real smile and she's the only one he graces with it more than ocassionally.

"What is it?"

"Please," She whispers, "I don't want this control anymore. I don't want it. Please will you..." She trails off and his eyes widen as he takes in the silk ropes she's holding. They're white and soft looking. But still undoubtably ropes. They're not scarves or torn pieces of sheets.

"Let's have our tea first." He says before taking her hand.

Azul's calm as usual. He's calm and pragmatic and he understands. This is for her. It's like the think after the kiss. It's like that but for her.

A small part of him argues that it's for him as well. He secretly likes the thought of restraining her and taking. Of having all that control over her body. Of having the most powerful individual on the planet under his power. Azul needs it too but admitting to himself just how much would mean he had to think about the darkness and why he wants her to submit.

Push and pull, give and take. It's a balance. A carefully choreographed dance. Dangerously beautiful.

After they've finished their tea (it's better than Iroh makes it though both of them wouldn't admit that to anyone. Aang smiles when she tastes the syrup and squeezes his hand so he squeezes back and it's a little signal. A show. A sign of camaraderie.) he leads her to the bed.

"Sure?" He asks, he knows the answer, he's just asking. Aang doesn't change her mind often when Azul is involved. She trusts him too much to have second thoughts.

She nods and he immediately grabs both wrists on a hand and ties them to the headboard. It's a quick action and she wonders how many times he's done it. How many times he's retrained someone.

"Too tight?"

She shakes her head. "Perfect." She says, smiling.

"It's strange," Azul muses to himself, "That this is the only time I've restrained someone with the intention of dragging pleasure not pain from their bodies."

He reaches for the sash of her dress before he's overtaken with a stray thought. "Do you mind if I blindfold you?"

She shakes her head and he uses the sash of her dress to cut off the light. And with that light goes the last of her control. It's a well crafted illusion. Anyone can tell that she would be able to get free. He isn't really in control. But she's willingly given that to him. She given him control and he's given her sanity.

Push and pull.

He doesn't ask anything. He doesn't ask a single question.

He sets a rhythm and moves slowly. He doesn't ask if it's okay.

Aang can feel the pure _comfort_ of not having to do anything. To say anything. To give an opinion on anything calming her. Smoothing down the abrasive bits that have started to grow.

And she feels whole again.

So once they're finished and Azul takes the blindfold off they just look at each other.

They've been together four times.

They've made love.

They've had sex.

They've fucked.

And they've trusted each other enough. It's love.

Aang lies back in Azul's arms and mutters a "More than Sokka loves meat".

Azul had laughed and laughed and laughed. Gathering Aang in his arms and cradling her.

Love isn't pure and simple as they'd learned. Love is rough. Love is a slow corruption. Love is real and can hurt and heal.

Give and take, push and pull.

Love love love.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: dark dark dark... who said their relationship would be easy? i wanted to incorporate azula's madness into this somehow and this is what i got. I assumed since azul feels differently to azula and is in essence a different person it would be different things that push him over the edge... this is dark so plough on through!**

Corruption is a slow and measured game. Didn't Aang say that? Didn't she already admit it? She should have known. But then again why would she? She would never have even suspected. She shouldn't have known. Going down the route of thinking she should have known is bad. The more you travel down that decrepit path the worse she feels. And Aang can't afford to loose what little strength that she has keeping her going. Aang has been perfecting the art of not thinking lately. Thinking less makes it better.

Sometimes anyway.

The tea has grown cold by the time she reaches down to daintily pick up the cup and take a sip. It's better to be dainty. The be careful. If she keeps each move carefully co-ordinated then maybe her limbs won't splinter off and snap like she can feel them trying to. Her body is close to shattering out of exhaustion but she has to keep it together. Has to keep it together. She can feel eyes on her but she shrugs them off. Her brain is too full of worry and upset and _pain, _both mental and physical, to care about why there are eyes on her. There are always eyes on her anyway.

"Aang?" Katara's voice is soft and worried. Doesn't she know there's nothing wrong? Nothing that she can make better anyway. Besides if they knew they would take him away. If they knew they would spirit him away and the thought of loosing him burns hot and acidic in her throat as her hands tighten on the delicate cup. If she was stronger the force would have splintered the egg-shell ceramic. She barely has the strength to hold it at this point.

Aang lifts her head from her tea. Katara's stare is worried; the exact mirror to Ty lee's. Zuko and Mai try to keep their faces neutral but she can still see worry. She can see it on Sokka's face. In Toph's rigid form. In Suki's widened eyes.

She laughs slightly, but the sound is more brittle than she would like. It must be because her throat is so dry despite the tea she just doused the desert with. "I'm fine Katara. Just a few long nights." That isn't a lie at least. There have been long nights. She's had more than a _few_ long nights though. She's had almost a month's worth.

"You've just been so quiet." Katara smiles but it's just a quirk of her lips. Her eyes still bleed worry. Aang can still feel their eyes on her. They're staring her down. Trying to see past her carefully constructed walls. Well they won't be able to. Aang has spent careful time before this meeting smiling in the mirror until it looked real enough. She won't let them know. They'll take him away. Take him away from her. The acid burns again.

"How's Azul?" Zuko ventures. He's his brother and he still hasn't seen him since this started. All he's seen is Aang slowly wasting away. That's all anyone's seen. It's understandable though and the question is bourn mostly out of sympathy for Aang and a desire to allow her to let her feelings loose and get it off her chest than concern for his brother. Aang's expecting the question but the sound of his name still forces air from her lungs. It's pathetic. It's pathetic what even his name can do to her. But the gardens disappear for a second and all she can feel is a solid blow to her stomach from the dark.

Aang manages a small smile, "He should be fine." Her voice wavers towards the end and now the gazes are sympathetic. She's not even acting. Her voice wavers whenever she talks about it no matter how prepared she is.

"Aang, I could always come and take a look." Katara's eyes now leak love and concern. I can help you. That's what the expressions says. I can help you and I love you. Aang feels like she's about to scream. She wants to grab them by the shoulders and shake them and scream until they finally realise they can't help. If they helped they would do it all wrong. They would take him away.

"I"m sorry Katara, I've already told you. It's highly contagious. No one apart from me is allowed in the room." There. A sold answer. No one can refute that. Now will they leave it alone?

The others have accepted that her "avatar powers" keep her safe from infection. Aang spends most of her time practicing her lies in front of the mirror before finally test driving them.

They think Azul is sick. Locked up in their bed in their rooms. Unable to see anyone and slowly deteriorating. They think the reason behind Aang's dark circles and bruised arms is the weight of running the Fire Nation single-handedly combined with Avatar-esque negotiations and duties. They think the scars and cuts are the result of being sloppy in battle due to tiredness after long nights of caring for her sick husband. They think her grief and wasted expression is the fruit of seeing her husband dying and not being able to do anything about it.

Aang reaches for a cookie and Suki immediately slides the plate closer. Anything to help Aang. The poor darling. Aang offers her a smile that disappears as soon as she traces Suki's horrified gaze to the part of her arm that's been uncovered where her sleeve's ridden up. There's a bruise of that part of her arm. A perfect cacophony of reds, purples, greens and blues. Staining the skin. Staining the skin in the perfect shape of a hand.

Aang remembers how she got that bruise. Aang remembers how she's gotten every one of her bruises. And it's back to the darkened room with a hand clamped around her wrist.

She quickly re-covers the offending body part. "Earth Kingdom three days ago." She offers at Suki's intense stare. Sometimes she wonders if she does it on purpose. Purposefully drops hints as to what's really going on in the dark room where no one ever goes. She wants them to know but she doesn't at the same time. It's a paradox. If they knew they would help, but their help would be like poison that rushed through her veins and delivered agonising death instantly. Compared to this slow and measured by-the-dosage injection that was her current situation.

The girl seems to accept it but the mood had abruptly shifted. Shifted from worry into pain. They're hurting for her. She can tell. It's been a while since she's seen them and even now she can't give them comfort. Especially now. Especially as she can barely give herself comfort.

Aang rises shakily to her feet. Sokka is immediately there to help steady her but she waves him off with an almost panicked air. Having anyone touch her. Especially a man is not on the cards right now. Even if it is her best friend.

"I have to go." The words stumble out of her mouth before turns and makes her way back to the palace. She knows they won't follow her. She knows they're worried. She knows she can't tell them the truth. Not now. Not ever.

They'll leave her alone though. Leave her to grieve. Grieve because her husband is dying.

* * *

The chambers are dark. Aang closed up the windows with earth bending as soon as she could. She closed up all the entrances. The door is now a huge slab of rock. It's to prevent the "infection" from spreading. Aang knows it's not to keep something out. It's to keep something in.

He's on her as soon as she enters the room. She gets in through a different way every time. She can't only use one entrance and exit or she'll get predictable. Her spontaneity is helping save her life. By switching the point of entry she switches his point of focus. Keeping him off balance and off her.

But he always gets her.

She's too weak to stand. Almost too weak to fight back but she does anyway. She lifts him off her using the air and sets him on his feet from her position on the floor. She refuses to hurt him. Even after all of this she refuses to hurt him. She loves her so so so so much. She loves him so much that her breath catches in her throat as she watches him stalk her like a jungle cat. If she didn't love him maybe it would never have gotten this far.

But she does love him and always will love him so that's immaterial.

Azul's eyes are dark. Darker than they've ever been. She really should have noticed. Should have known when he began to slip but she was so busy. The water tribes began to quarrel between themselves then the Earth Kingdom nearly declared war. She was too busy. He was busy too. Going to meetings and attending conferences and speaking with different delegates. They were both busy. But she should have known when he begun to slip. She saw the darkness in his eyes. Saw it the first time in her cell. She'd kept seeing it. When that man had kissed her. When the general attacked her. Ruthless Azul. Murderous Azul. Azul when he went down to the dungeons. But somehow the darkness warped. Warped his attitude to her. Warped his mind. Or maybe it never went so far. She saw the darkness grow and grow each time she came back and they saw each other. He never raised a hand to her though. He never touched her without her consent. And yet she saw as he grew angrier and angrier. The would yell at her. Snarl at her. Scream at her. She wouldn't back down; she would let him know that she didn't like the way he was talking to her. He would never apologise but he would stop. Surely that was enough? She had seen as he grew sullen, obsessive, possessive, almost scary in the way he approached her. He nearly killed a servant for touching her arm. She stopped him and the servant went unharmed. They still loved him and made excuses for his behavior. Aang did too. She told herself that it was stress. It was stress and worry. Apparently when she was gone he had begun to grow sullen, withdrawn, aggressive, snappish. His eyes grew darker. Darker and darker until she couldn't tell the difference between the once gold iris and the pitch pupil. She'd questioned servants and guards and courtiers and advisors later. Trying to find out when it started. To them it was just a concerned wife trying to find out when her husband first started becoming "sick". To try and check when the symptoms had first never thought it could be more sinister than that.

She'd been away for the longest time yet. A whole two weeks. Two weeks of meetings and fights and wanting to go home. She missed Azul. Missed him like crazy. Because she was crazy. At least when it came to him. Fourteen days was the longest they'd been apart. But that didn't matter to her; she was back now and she would see him again. She was a little worried. He tended to be angry when she was away from longer than a few hours and this had been countless days. However she was confident that he wouldn't hurt her. He'd never raised a hand to her before.

When she finally made it back to the palace she had hopped off Appa, given him a quick kiss and set off on a run to their chambers. She hoped Azul would be done with meetings. She hoped like crazy. As soon as she had set foot in the familiar setting she had been grabbed. And then it had started. And it still hadn't finished.

The feeling of laying on the floor with Azul's sneering face hovering above her brought the same depressing feeling of deja vu that it always did. She gazed up at him and thought about Azul. Her Azul. It was easier to separate her Azul with this Azul rather than try and face that they were one person. She didn't have the strength to reconcile this Azul with her Azul. He had changed and she wasn't sure why. She had tried to enter hid mind through spirit bending a few days after that first night. She had been a frantic, desperate, sobbing mess. She shouldn't have tried. She was too weak to take control of the bond and Azul had snapped it easily. He had broken her arm for that.

And that's why she couldn't count them as the same person. Because she couldn't group this Azul with her Azul. This Azul who never smiled except at her pain, who took out his anger on her body when she wasn't strong enough to fight back, who _used _her to satisfy every one of his pleasures. Yet in a strange masochistic way she couldn't let him go. She couldn't just lock him up in the room or try to leave him. She can't let him run the Nation on his own. She knows that. Without the Avatar some of his credit will dissolve and the other nations will get ideas about attacking. The thought of him in any danger freezes her with fear. It's stupid of course as his fists manage to freeze her well enough.

Azul grabs her by the hair and jerks her up. A gasp escapes her lips. "Azul," She placates. She can't let him treat her like this. She has to try and let him know that he's _hurting _her. "Please, that hurts."

He doesn't answer except to fling her to the ground. Her elbow painfully connects with the floor and she's glad that it's covered by a thick layer of red carpeting.

"Where have you been?" He snarls.

"I've been having tea with my friends." She realised that it's easier to try and answer his questions. To let him know she trusts him and hopefully it'll make him trust her too.

His lip curls, "Did you let them touch you?"

She's noticed lots of little things. Things like how he never calls her degrading names. He doesn't scream that she's a whore or a slut or a bitch. He hurts her but it's not premeditated. The slaps and kicks and punches are a spur of the moment decision. It's strange but at this point her psyche will do anything to insure her survival so that comforts her. She's not sure what she would do if he strung her up in chains and whipped her raw or took her across his knee. That would suggest that he thought about it. That he was measuring his strikes. That he meant to hurt her. Of course he meant to hurt her. He wouldn't do what he was doing now if he didn't. But this was different. At least that's what she attempted to convince herself. This was different.

"Of course not." She answers Azul. She smiles up at him. The actions is forced but genuine. Just looking at him makes her smile. This past month has only displayed to her how in love and out of her depth she really is. "I love you Azul."

That's become a mantra of sorts to her. "I love you Azul." I love you; please don't hurt me. I love you; please get better. I love you; what's wrong?

He reaches down and grabs her roughly before pulling her up. She's almost dangling by one arm. It's wrenched painfully and that brings involuntary tears to her eyes.

"Azul. Please let go of my arm. It hurts the way you're holding it." He complies with a snarl but without his support she crumples. She just much too tired to do anything. She lands awkwardly on the floor while Azul swears. She's just tired. Just so tired. Her eyes flutter shut. Just a few minutes. Just a few.

* * *

It sick. It's sick but she almost likes it. She's never been a glutton for punishment but she almost likes the way he treats her. It's penance. It's retribution for all the things she's done wrong. For her selfishness. A sick twisted self-flagellation. Only it's Azul carrying out the punishment. It's strange but she's almost more at ease with him like this. She sleeps better at night you could say. This is purgatory. This is the cleansing of her sins.

She's never properly rose this train of thought before. Doing so would only lead to more guilt. She's selfish enough to let Azul punish her. She can't even do it herself. Aang realises that she has problems. That she had issues of her own. She traumatized in her own way. But for now Azul is the only things that matters. She had to run the fire nation and keep peace but Azul is the one things that's always on the forefront of her mind. She wants him back. She wants sweet and playful Azul back. She doesn't like this Azul. She doesn't like the pain.

But she revels in it all the same.

To Azul his world had shrunk to now consist of a few rooms and one woman. He hasn't seen anyone else in more than three months. He hasn't seen daylight in more than three months. He can't use his bending. For some reason he can't feel the fire running under his skin. It terrifies him. The loss of his firebending is a nightmare. One he's had many times. Without his firebending his emotions ran rampant. One of the reasons Azul was such a good firebender was that he channeled all his emotions into the raging torrents. That was also one of the reasons he was so good at hiding how he was feeling. Without the familiar flames that bleed out his anger his emotions ran wild. As did his mind. He could feel that darkness. That horrible familiar darkness grip his mind.

He was paranoid. He had hallucinations. He was always angry.

Except for those rare occasions with Aang. He still loved her. Just looking at her made the lump rise in his throat but he can't seem to stop hurting her. But she just makes him so _angry. _

He was furious with her. She was the one keeping him locked up in here. But as the months passed and she kept explaining her reasoning to him he understood. Or maybe he just didn't care anymore. He was still angry but he was trying to keep his fury bottled up inside. Save the worst of it for your enemies as an old general had once slapped him on the back with.

He sometimes saw the general. He sometimes saw his father. He even saw his mother. They started appearing months ago. But they were only brief flashes in a mirror back then. Only the specters that haunt when the lights are out. And when Aang was they they didn't dare. But then she had started leaving. Leaving for days at a time. Then weeks. And he couldn't bear to conduct meetings with his dead parents grinning hideously at him so he had locked himself in their chambers where they had continued to taint him. His father hurled curses at his; foaming at the mouth and screaming like a wild beast. Azul screamed right back; snarling about how his father didn't deserve to be descended from Agni. How he had ruined the Fire Nation. How he was a stupid, selfish man who couldn't even defend against a fifteen year old boy.

Ozai screams back. About how Azul is a traitor. A stupid wretch. About how he doesn't deserve to live. About how he should have killed him years ago. Sometimes when Ozai is feeling sly he'll needle him. About how Ursa never loved him. About how he, Ozai, had always hated him too. The worst was when he started on Aang. The constantly taunted Azul about her. Saying that it was a wonder he had a wife at all. Sneering about how the only way he could get her to love him was to force her into marriage first. He kicked him when he was down. About how the Avatar could do better than the disgraced second son. About how Azul manipulated her into caring about him. "Freed her from captivity and forced her into marriage." Gloated Ozai, "She doesn't love you. She had no other choice. You raped her before she could divorce you and move on." Then Ozai would sneer before delivering the killing blow. "I'm impressed son. I'm impressed that you had enough cruelty to take a woman's innocence when you know she can't leave the marriage and remarry without it." Ozai would then laugh and smirk.

Ursa wasn't much better. "I love you Azul." He would whisper. It didn't matter how far he ran in the small set of room she would follow him. It didn't matter where he hid. She would find him. She would find him and love him. But she wasn't allowed to love him. That was Aang. That was only Aang. No one but Aang could say they loved him. But Ursa would follow him. Her sick choking love tried to force it's way past his clamped lips. Down his windpipe when it would strangle and suffocate him.

The specters would disappear when Aang entered the rooms he could still feel their presence causing his skin to prickle.

When she was gone for two weeks the demons were allowed free reign. They chased him. They hurt him. They screamed at him and Azul's mind slowly crumbled under the weight of the one man whose approval he had sought and the one woman whose approval he had never gotten.

He was paranoid. He was paranoid that someone would enter the rooms when he was defenseless and strike him down. He was paranoid without his bending. He's never been this scared before. On the day of black sun he'd lost his bending. But he knew it would return. He didn't know if it was coming back this time. He spent his life in constant terror. Shying away from the thick blackness that surrounded him. Desperately trying to summon flames. But it never worked. He was forever surrounded by the crushing inky fog. He could see it and only Aang made it go away. But when she came back it came again. It was her fault for leaving him. If she had never left it would have never come.

He was paranoid about Aang leaving him. He thought that maybe she would walk out one day and never come back and he would be left to rot and die. It was Aang who brought his meals. Who brought him company. She created a manmade stream that flowed into a pond on the floor of one of the rooms for drinking water. She'd patiently explained to him that he needed to get better, needed to get better before he could leave the prison. But how could he get better? How could he get better if he was sealed up in this tomb with the skeletons in his closet.

So he got angry. He got angry when the only thought filling his mind was Aang. He got angry when she left in the morning. He wondered what she was doing out all day. She told him every time he asked of course but was she lying? Was she whoring herself out while she wasn't in his line of sight? He wanted to call her up on it sometimes. Wanted to call her a whore but the words stuck in his throat. He couldn't do it.

So he was angry. And he took his anger out on her. And sometimes his head felt full of Kyoshi warriors slamming their fans and fists into his brain.

And sometimes Ozai taunted him that he should just kill Aang but he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough.

So he lay on the floor of the chambers when she wasn't there. He ate and slept and practiced his katas without the flames. And sometimes while he stared up at the ceiling he imagined that he was Firelord Azul again with Aang beside him and Ozai and Ursa weren't chasing him down and he still had his bending and he wasn't so fucking weak.

He pretended and wished but no good came out of it. He could think all he wanted. It didn't mean anything would happen. He supposed that was why she sometimes woke to his hands around her throat.

* * *

He forces her down on her knees. "Suck." He snarls.

She puts a calming hand on his leg. "I've never done this before Azul. I'm not sure what to do."

He tried to force himself into her mouth but she just moves her head to the side and smiles up at him.

"I'll try." She whispers. Aang takes a deep breath and takes him into her mouth. She actually never done this before. The number of time she had been intimate with Her Azul were numbered and Her Azul had never asked her to do this. But she would try because this man wore her husband's face and held her heart.

She tentatively licks upwards. Then down. Then she sucks the tip where white it beginning to pool. Azul groans and Aang is slightly fascinated. She throws herself into it. Sucking and licking. She gently scrapes her teeth up one side then traces a long vein down the other side. The reactions is instantaneous. He moans louder and thrusts into her mouth. Aang can feel her gag reflex protest but swallows anyway. She then begins to bob up and down. Sucking and pulling.

Her mind wanders at this point. She pretends that this is her Azul and she's giving him pleasure to make him feel better. She pretends that she loves him. Then she realises she isn't pretending. She swallows again and continues licking. Is it better that this Azul isn;t hurting her? Maybe if she tries she can pretend that she _wants _to do this. In a way she does. In a way she does want to make Azul feel good. She loves him.

But she would rather it be her own choice.

Can she pretend that she wants it when Azul's pinning her down in the middle of the night and entering her with no pre-warning? Can she pretend then. Maybe she can. But maybe she doesn't want to.

She wants to keep her mind. She doesn't want to be the poor delusional wife who can't see the truth. Is it better to loose her sanity or her dignity?

Azul's roar as he comes is enough to end the thought. Her mouth is filled with a liquid. It's so hot. It's so salty. This is his seed. This is what comes from him. This could have been a child. Aang find her mind wandering ever as Azul grabs her throat and orders her to swallow. "You're mine. I've marked you." And as Aang gazes up into his pitch eyes she can almost pretend that she wants this.

She really really wanted this.

* * *

Four months. It's been four months. Four months of the Firelord being "sick" to the outside world. Four months of bruises and breaks and blood and _shame. _But Aang doesn't think about that. She can't think about that or she'll try and pull herself out of her skin. But he'd gotten better. Aang liked to think that he'd gotten better. He called her by her name. He loved her.

Like now.

Aang groggily woke to him entering her from behind. She moaned slightly. She twisted an arm around to caress his face. He stroked her gently causing her to purr under him. He was soft and caring and she could pretend it was before. She could pretend she was with Her Azul.

"I love you." She whispered and she felt him move faster.

She didn't orgasm but she didn't mind. It still felt nice anyway.

She sighed as he lay back next to her. As the cloud cleared from her mind she felt like sobbing.

"I miss you." She whispered. It came out a broken sound and she wasn't sure why. In fact she wasn't even sure why she said it. It was stupid. She shouldn't have said it. She should have kept her mouth shut.

Azul stilled beside her and Aang cringed slightly. She wasn't scared of him. She could never be scared of him; of Azul. But she was scared of what he would do. She was scared of the pain he could inflict on her.

That was different from being scared of the man himself.

To her surprise Azul didn't slap her or snarl at her or scream he just gathered her up into his arms and rocked her. He rocked her like a child. Like the child he'd never gotten to be. Like the child she's never been allowed to be.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck. A gesture he hadn't done in a while.

"Sometimes I see them." He finally whispered. Aang was almost sleep but that jolted her awake.

"See who?" She prompted while trying not to sound too eager.

"Ozai and Ursa." She noticed the way he didn't call them father or mother. But that shocked her. Was Azul seeing things?  
"Where are they?" She asked carefully.

He snorted, "They only come out when you're not here." He glared at their wardrobe accusingly.

Aang was at loss. So while all these months she had locked him in these rooms hoping that he would cure his own madness he had been besieged by the dead forms of his parents. She swallowed thickly.

"I'm never leaving you again." She whispered hoarsely. "I'm not letting them near you."

She was rewarded with a smile. The first smile in months.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I'm sorry I'm late but this was a bit of a sensitive one to plough through. it's quite intense and to be honest I'm not even sure where this story is going to go.**

Aang swallowed thickly as she watched the healer. She had gone in for something after she'd collapsed twice. She was just so damn _tired._

She was true to her word about not leaving Azul. She had put out official word that the Firelord was no longer contagious but recovering slowly then she had taken down the rocks that barred every entrance and exit; allowing daylight to flood the chambers once more. Then she had taken to receiving visitors and holding meetings in the main room while Azul lay in the bedroom.

She thought he was getting better but she didn't know for sure. He still ranted at her but he hit her less. He still used her body to satisfy his every wish but he was kinder. At least she hoped.

The healer turned back towards Aang with an unreadable expression on her face. Aang wasn't visiting the palace healer but a common woman who lived in the outskirts of the city. She wouldn't recognise Aang. Many people were getting the Air nomad tattoos as a temporary fashion statement. It almost made Aang laugh. This woman would never know who she was treating. Aang didn't want anyone to see the bruises on the thighs. The purple hand prints on her arms. The bite marks on her breasts and neck. She didn't want anyone to see her without her formal robes and makeup. She didn't want anyone to see the way her ribs jutted out from not eating enough. She didn't want anyone to see the sickly pallor of her skin. The heavy black bags under her yes. Her swollen lips.

This woman has though. She's seen it all.

"You have a record of five previously broken bones, your vaginal passage is torn, you have extensive bruising, you wrist is sprained, you are suffering from malnutrition and lack of sleep." The healer's voice is brisk and juxtaposes to horrific list of injuries she's naming. "You have mild friction burns on your back and your windpipe is bruised. The corners of your mouth are also cracked from a combination of a lack of vitamin C and," Here she pauses, "Someone forcing something inside your mouth." The last part is said quietly.

The healer walks up to Aang who is lying is the diagnosis table. She walks slowly as if approaching a wounded animal. Aang wonders if that's what she is. A wounded animal.

She places a hand on Aang arm and Aang flinches. The woman's touch is unexpected and she doesn't like that. But refusing the woman's touch is bad. It's made her suspicious and if she doesn't fucking pull it together they'll _take him away. _Do you want that you little slut? The woman removes her hand and gazes compassionately at Aang. Aang flinches as the woman moves back. She flinches as the woman stares at her. She can't stop twitching. Nervous impulses. That's what it must be...

"If someone is hurting you you can tell me." The healers tells her, "I need to know to help you."

Aang almost laughs, to help her? How absurd. She saddens. Is that what Azul is doing? Hurting her? Like a common criminal?

Aang tries to smile but it looks wrong on her wasted features. She hasn't been practising enough lately anyway. Sometimes an actual real quirk of the lips will appear on her face. But that's rare. That's not when momo chitters or Appa yawns. It's not when Sokka laughs and Suki does tricks. It's not when Katara smiles and Mai stares. It's not when Zuko acts like an idiot with honour. It's not when Ty lee does a trick. It's not when Toph makes a joke. It's not when Azul says something. It's when he doensn't. It's what he doesn't say that's important. That's what she reminds herself. "It's alright." Even her voice is raspy. From the bruised windpipe. From waking up with his hands around her neck. "I'll be fine."

She won't be fine. She won't won't won't. She won't be fine unless Azul gets better and Azul isn't getting better. Maybe is never going to get better. What's better anyway? Can she say that Azul before was better? Azul before didn't hurt her. But Azul before was a trained performer. An actor. This Azul is more real. More open. Yet more closed. But it's not like before when he could construct the mask and only show her what he wanted her to see. Every move was a carefully choreographed dance. This is spontaneous. He makes up the moves and the rules on the spot.

She loves him. But she won't be fine.

The healer doesn't look convinced either but she doesn't press it. The Fire Nation is like that. They don't press for details if someone doesn't want to talk. In a way that's better. At east it's better for Aang right now.

"There's something else." The healer looks troubled and worried and almost scared; but she presses on. Aang feels troubled and worry and almost scared too now. "Please prepare yourself for a bit of a shock." The healer seems to collect herself. And Aang tries to gather up the broken remains of herself as well.

"You're with child."

The words seem to resonate in that tiny room.

Aang stares back at her. Horrified. Before stealing away into the comforting black of oblivion.

When she wakes she's in a bed in an unfamiliar room. It's white. The sheets are white. The walls are painted white. Aang wonders for a second if she's dead. If this is heaven. But when she feels her sprained wrist protest uncomfortably when she tries to move it she decides that the pain means it isn't. The lack of fire means that it isn't Hell either. The substantial feel of the bed means that it can't be the spirit world. Besides, she leans back, if this were Heaven she would want Azul here. Or at least in spirit.

She wondered briefly how long she'd been here. She wasn't worried for some strange reason. She wasn't worried of capture. For all anyone knew capture would be a holiday. That thought stopped her dead. She was just running herself down too much. She was just tired. The past months has done that to her. The past five months had worn her down like a bar of soap until she had been whittled away to the last speck. She wouldn't rather be captured than with Azul. Would she?

Then the healer re-entered.

At that everything immediately came crashing down. It hit her with a force that tore the air from her lungs.

She was pregnant.

She had a baby inside of her. Growing inside her.

Aang's lip wobbled slightly. The healer took one look at her before rushing over and putting a calming hand on her forehead.

"Your vitals are fine and you seem to be in a stable condition for now." The healers eyes softened as she looked down at Aang. "How old are you?" She asked gently. Aang couldn't help but answer. With the woman's kind eyes boring into her she felt as though she was under some kind of compulsion.

"I'm nineteen." She whispered.

The woman's face fell. "You're too young for this." She murmured gently.

Then her eyes turned hard, "Who's doing this?" She asked, "Is it a relative? A partner?"

Aang shook her head desperately to clear it. They'll take him from me. They'll take him if I tell. So she kept silent.

"I can't say." She finally offered. She threw back the covers and tried to stand. She was wobbly but was confident she'd be okay. "Thank you for your kindness." She whispered to the woman. Her voice wasn't working properly above a rasping whisper. She supposed it was the bruised throat. At this point she was anxious to get back to the palace. She didn't know how long she'd been gone. She only wanted a simple sleep solution or something. She didn't need a full checkup. She didn't need this baby. She hadn't mensturated for a while but she chalked it up to stress and weight loss.

She choked back a sob as she thought of the child. There was the horrible thought that the child may have been out of force. Azul sometimes pinned her down. She never had the heart to really struggle. Was that bad? Was it wrong that she let him do that to her? She loved him. But where was the line? When she awoke to find him sliding into her was that forced? The lines were like chalk that had been smeared around. All blurred and hard to see. What would happen if she went through with the pregnancy? Azul was still rough during sex. And out of sex as well. The child could easily get hurt. She paled. What if her baby was killed. She clutched at her stomach. She couldn't let her child be hurt. Her and Azul's child. She had thought several times about having his children and loved the idea. She thought about how wonderful it would be to cradle her baby; a mix of Azul and her and raise him or her. The thought brought proper tears cascading down her cheeks. That was a dream that was gone. She couldn't raise a child if Azul stayed the way he was right now. It wouldn't be right. She wanted her child to grow up safe and loved. Azul was sick right now. He wasn't in his right mind and therefore couldn't be held responsible for his actions. He was hurting right now and he was still healing. He hurt her less and less but if angry he could still hurt the child and her. And she didn't know if he would ever be okay again. If they would ever be able to go back to the way they were before.

But she could try. She entertained the thought. She could try and make it okay. She could raise the child and give it a home and love. Azul would surely get better.

She felt better as she pulled on her clothes.

The healer watched worriedly at the tears still leaking down her cheeks. She wanted to offer this young woman comfort. She was obviously in some kind of abusive relationship and she wanted to help her but she had no idea how. The woman's injuries were extensive and worrying. There was obvious sexual and well as physical abuse here and she had no idea what to do.

She was at loss.

But, as she watched the woman clutch her stomach, there might be one things she could do.

The healer quickly walked to a cabinet in the corner of the room. She rifled through the draws as she felt the woman's gaze on her back. When she found the correct herbs in the correct dosages she placed them in a paper bag; hands shaking the whole time. What she was doing was illegal. Unauthorised. But it was better than this poor girl going through with this without any back-up plan.

"Here." She pressed the bag into the girl's hands. "Take it. If you need to terminate the pregnancy."

The healer's voice didn't shake. She didn't twitch. Her back was ramrod straight as she made her way out of the room. Leaving the girl with her illegal combination of herbs behind.

She took a deep breath and tried to forget the recklessness and the potential repercussions of what she had just done.

She had some patients to treat.

She walked through the streets with the bag. This wasn't right. She could never kill her baby. She could never hurt her own child. Her and Azul's child. It was _her's. _No, not it. She or he. The baby was hers. Hers and Azul.

She sucked in a breath. She would dump the herbs as soon as she could. She wouldn't hurt her baby. There was a strange mixture of protection and pride. This baby would be the best thing that had ever happened. A mixture of the man she loved and her. A perfect bundle of them. A show of their absolute unity. A symbol.

A symbol that Azul was getting better.

She could imagine the baby. Imagine its tiny fingers. Imagine as they curled around her finger and squeezed. Imagine as its tiny burbling laugh filled the nursery. They could turn the spare room into a nursery. The walls could be orange and red. For her people and Azul's. The baby might be an airbender. Her eyes filled with grateful tears. She wouldn't be the last anymore. She would be a new start for her race. She would be a mother to her people. She would never see the airbenders grow to the amount that they had been before but she wouldn't be the last anymore. There would be _others._

Sometimes it hit Aang just how lonely she was. She had friends and they were amazing but she was the last of her race. No one understood when she celebrated a festival. No one understood all the tiny nuances that made up her culture. The tiny things that make up a race. The trust and friendship and _love _that such a close-knit community held. She had found love; good and bad and wrong and right since she woke. But... She wanted some of her people there. People who could understand what it was like to be an _airbender. _To wear orange robes. To meditate. To _fly. _They would never understand fertility festivals or what it was like to find your partner and be joined in a traditional air-nomad ceremony. What it was like to live everywhere and anywhere. To be a nomad. To run and fly and travel. The loss of her people had hit her hard but traveling helped. She could almost pretend she was just out with her friends. Just flying and running and living and being Aang. Just being the carefree wisp of a girl. Then she would grow up and go to her first fertility festival. She would meet and boy and they would couple. If she felt like he was the one and he did too then they would join. If they weren't then they would hug and smile. If she was pregnant she would have carried the aby happily for nine months. The father would come and help ever so often. Couples were excluded from the festivals while conceiving. Then they would love and care for the baby until he or she was old enough to be sent away to a temple.

The joining ceremonies were a huge affair. They were important because air-nomads hardly ever found a life-partner. They were too free. Too hard to tie down. Maybe you could even say scared of commitment.

But Aang smiles as she thinks of her people. If she had met Azul back then she would probably have joined with him. She would invite Bumi and Kuzon and all her female friends and some of her male ones. She would wear flowers n her hair and orange robes. She would get Gyatso to give her away because he was her family. She would smile and reach up to pull Azul down for a real kiss. They would have their perfect wedding night because she wouldn't be thirteen. She would be eighteen.

If she had never met Azul should would have married Bumi or Kuzon because Aang was always inching more towards commitment.

This baby would be perfect. This baby would be hers. Hers and Azul.

What does she want to loose? Her dignity or her sanity?

Delusional little girl. She more in love with the _idea _of the child than the baby itself.

She would throw them away and it would be fine. Toss them. Burn them. They were wrong. Life was _sacred._ Pregnancy was a sacrament. The bag _should_ be destroyed.

Her baby would never be harmed.

Not as long as she could help it.

The gaze sharpened. Her intent emboldened.

No, the baby would be theirs. Azul would love it and care for it and so would she. They would be okay. They were going to be okay.

She loved him.

This didn't explain why she was still gripping the bag tight enough to tear the paper.

"Where have you been?" It wasn't even a snarl. It was a unholy promise. Of promise of pain and deliverance. He was the executioner. The jury and judge and prosecutor and jailor all in one. He was the beginning. The end.

She was the one locking him in the room and yet he was her jailor. He was the one keeping her here. Her head spun. How long had she been out?

"I was at a healer. I needed some sleep-"

"Did you fuck the healer?" He asked. Voice growing colder. Chilling. Icy. Colder than a giant blokc of ice for a hundred years. "Is that why you were gone this whole time."

"It was only a few hours." Aang tried to placate. Wrong. It wasn't a few hours. It was around thirteen. But Azul wasn't having any of it. Don't placate you bitch. Don't compromise.

Aang wanted to be strong. Wanted to be strong and stand up for herself. But when she looked at Azul she couldn't say a single word against him. Pathetic.

Her hands gravitated unconsciously towards her stomach. I've got a baby growing in there. _Our _baby Azul. Would you like that?

She should have known. Should have realised that leaving him along was a bad idea. Alone for too long and things began to go sour. It wasn't sweet most of the time but the edge had been taken off. The taste of love no longer curdled in her mouth. But now. But now...

With an angry roar he tossed her to the ground. He wasn't screaming at least. That's good. _Delusional. _He seemed to be physically restraining himself from doing anything else though which was good in Aang's eyes. Good. See? He's getting better. _Delusional. _He hadn't kicked her or slapped her. He was getting better. _Delusional. _Don't you understand? He loved you. No. no no no no. He _loves _you. Present tense. And you love him. That's enough isn't it? _Delusional. _You're the Avatar. Love is all you need. Love and peace. You've got peace. There are no wars. The world is at peace. You've got love. He loves you. Never stopped loving you.

Right?

Right?

Yes right. You know it is. It is. It is...

_You're a delusional little bitch. _

She watched through a blurry tear-stained film as he stormed out of the room and left her crumpled on the floor like a used rag doll. Like the puppet with it's strings cut. He was the puppeteer. The one with the scissors. But he loves you. But people who love each other don't do that. Don't scream and yell and throw the ones they love to the floor. Don't hate them. Does he hate her? No. He loves her. He _loves _her.

_Delusional. _

At least he never said he was doing it because he loved her. At least he cared enough not to lie so completely. In a way he cared.

So Aang gives up. Insanity is better than dignity. Dignity is better than delusions. But delusions she will have. Delusions she has chosen.

She's given up.

Her hand was still clutching the bag of herbs.

She stared at it and as she stared she began to cry.

She patted her stomach.

"You're going to be okay baby." She whispered. Her voice fluctuated luridly between tones and volumes. "I'll take care of you."

The bleeding didn't stop for a few days.

Aang didn't know if that was normal. She had day dreams of bleeding to death. Of dying and leaving and escape. Because death was better than life right now. Because death was easier. She imagined the soft bliss of death. The cold and impersonal embrace of darkness. Being left alone. Please please Gods please leave me alone. I know I wanted penitence but this is surely too much. Don't make a monster wear my husband's face. Please. Not him. Not Azul.

Aang's teetering at the edge of insanity. She's chosen insanity but letting go is harder than she thought.

Her dreams are full of dead children.

But their bloody. Their eyes drip and their mouths spit. They cry rivers of blood. If a mother can kill her child what limits can there be? Aang's betrayed herself. Betrayed her people. Willingly took a life. Willingly crushed a small flame. It could have been an airbender.

She's surely infertile now.

She's surely _dead._

Her spirits have abandoned her. Her life has left her. Her smile has gone. Her shoulder shake as if cold and she's locked herself up in a small room. She lies curled up on the floor. There's blood on the floor; blood that soaked through her clothes to create garish red swirls on the hard stone. That is until the blood dries and all that's left is a black stain.

She's being selfish. She's leaving the earth to fend for itself. She's leaving _Azul. _The thought of him summons a weak whimper. She really is pathetic. She's a stupid little girl. Nineteen years old and not ready for this.

She a masochistic whore.

She replays the moment of swallowing again and again. The precise act of tensing and relaxing the bruised throat muscles. How she had tried to throw the deadly concoction back up but it hadn't budged.

So she hid. She ran away from her problems. From Ozai. From Azul. From her child. From her problems.

The problems that she fucking made.

I'm sorry Azul. I killed out child. I'm sorry Azul. Our baby is dead. I'm sorry Azul. I was trying to love it. I was trying to love it. Love means sacrifice. Right? Love means giving up somethings. Gyatso told me that.

Gyatso visits her sometimes. He bend and places a hand on her brow. He shakes his head sorrowfully while she shrinks in shame. He'll tell her its not her fault but he loves her so he'll lie to her. You always lie to the ones you love. He told her he was (you can laugh now) _proud _of her.

Roku comes to. He tells her there are other ways. She tells him that she needs to die.

Kyoshi comes and goes.

Kryuku.

Yangchen.

Kuzon comes and rages and even cries. He presses his face close to her and tries to tell her he loves her. That he always loved her. She doesn't answer.

She wonders dazedly if it's just the dead. If it's only the dead that visit her. She hasn't seen Bumi or her friends yet but that's just because they're too disgusted to see her.

She passes in and out of unconsciousness. Inhabiting a strange neverworld in between death and sleep. She's on the edge and as it slips closer she could have cheered.

Finally. Finally.

Please please just let me _die._

Let me fucking leave.

Please.

Please.

Please.


	10. Update

**Okay okay. I'm sorry for the lack of posts. It's just that i really need to reevalutate where I even want this story to go. Writing this is also forcing me to confront some serious issues and dredge up some things that I's rather not think about. I promise I'll get right back to it probabaly in two weeks. Please be understanding.**


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